the philadelphia phillies stepped onto the field tonight hoping to catch ground with the atlanta braves in the battle for the nl east. what ended up happening was another failed attempt at victory against a mediocre ball club with one of the best pitchers on the mound in our efforts. yes, the phillies offense had failed again as they lost 3-2.
after last nights debacle of a game, where the team only could muster two runs in 16 innings, the phillies hoped to bounce back with roy halladay on the mound against former phillie j.a. happ. it was not to be.
ryan howard was given the night off, although he did get a pinch hit single in the ninth, the team failed to drive him in from first with two outs. besides that, the lineup was intact and could not muster up any meaningful innings at the plate. this is becoming a problem.
it's not the pitching that is the issue here and maybe it's just a case of the lineup needing to settle down and play together more. the team has fielded it's projected opening day lineup only 10 times this year which is pretty amazing since they are so close to the atlanta braves in the chase for the top position.
i'm not saying that i am concerned just yet, but it is a small worry that i have when you play at home and in three games score less than ten runs against an okay squad. this right now is the phillies chance to reclaim the lead in the east with the braves getting swept by the rockies and to not take advantage of it could be a big reason when we look back later on as to why they are battling for a wild card spot and not cruising into the playoffs as division champs.
let's hope that tomorrow night brings a nice performance and we can move on from this because i can't even say that i'm angry just yet...just confused with it all. how can a team with this much firepower be so dead. i feel like when a man reaches first base, we hit a homerun. at the beginning of the year, i felt that even if we were five runs down, we would score six in the very next inning, and we usually did. now, i feel that being down one run is a dagger to the jugular.
i'm not seeing the spark. i'm not seeing the swagger. there is no confidence at the plate.
blame who you will, but a loss is a loss. the braves don't care how it's happening.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
the return of the attack of the killer buicks
i can't take it anymore. you may think that it happens everywhere and i'm being dramatic. you may think that i need to just calm down. i tell you to take heed at what i proclaim in the following paragraphs and prepare yourself for the possibility that one day you will encounter driving in florida. one day you will develop the hate that i do for the elderly and oldsmobiles, or the young and their lifted four-wheeling pickup trucks.
one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.
what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.
inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.
i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.
i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.
one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.
what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.
inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.
i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.
i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.
Monday, August 16, 2010
a story about a house
i am a large house with many rooms and many places to sit. i have wide hallways and no carpets. i am an empty wall. white paint with bright lights. the kitchen is steel and appliances. the floor is tiled and cold. i've walked around this house for a long time.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
a new spin on things
there is this great calvin and hobbes comic that starts with calvin and hobbes both standing next to each other on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. calvin turns to hobbes and tells him to think about this block that they were on as their life. they look back at the first crack and calvin explains how that is the beginning of their lives and the crack in front of them is the end of their lives. everything that they do in between the two cracks is what makes up their lives and they better be proud of what they did because the end comes faster than you think.
the last panel shows the boy and tiger in the exact same spot, staring at their feet in total darkness.
i'm in the middle of my sidewalk and i have taken a moment to stop and tell you where i am at right now and the next step forward that i plan on taking. i have been told to remain positive, and that kind of reminds me of this thing that i read a couple weeks ago where the author said that even if you aren't feeling great, or things aren't going as they should, you should still act positive. they said that even putting on the facade of positivity will in turn bring positiveness to your life.
i don't know if i buy that. it kind of seems like being a little fake, or not letting people see how you truly feel, but i think i may be getting to the point where maybe people don't want to see someone who may be glum on certain days. i'm sure it's not a blast to be around somebody who isn't on their "A" game. things haven't been top notch yet either, so trying something new may be fun.
so...
i have been working at my job now for the past four months and it's been great! i have had a wonderful time struggling to learn this new job. every day that i go into work, i learn an exciting new challenging task while still doing things that i have been learning from previous days. my new job has taught me to even further develop my multi-tasking capabilities because i am given tasks by people who come up to my desk, by people that call me on the phone, by people who send me e-mails and through text messages! i think it's amazing the amount of work that i can get done everyday. i can see why i don't get a lunch break. who needs it anyway?
i am planning on moving into a new apartment in september. i love moving! the process of taking all of my things and packing them up into boxes to move isn't totally awesome, but it sure is something to do on a nice day outside. i have been dealing with some interesting potential landlords. i haven't met one yet that i have been completely comfortable with, but i know that it will happen soon enough. i may even be staying at the owner of my company's second house down the street from the office. that would be nice. 100 dollars a week with everything included will really give me a nice opportunity to be independent and to be able to save up some money. i am hoping that that goes through.
let's see, what else? oh yea, i am hoping that i can go to school next month. it would be nice to take some writing classes again. i think i am supposed to be here to write and i haven't done it to the capacity that i would have liked to up to this point, but that is all changing come september. the college isn't that far from anywhere that i am potentially going to live, so that's a good thing. i haven't taken a college class in about 10 years, but i know that i will do better than i did then! that was a mess back then! haha!
i met a girl that i like! she's definitely a breath of fresh air and although nothing is going on between us right now, i still am holding out hope for the future. she even knows it this time which is a plus and still seems to want to talk to me. i meet up with her and her friends a lot to play pool and hang out. it's been nice to actually hang out with people near my age group too. laughing has been great and i look forward to laughing more.
florida sure has been a challenge so far, but i feel that the next month could be a real page turner. i am ready to take another step forward on my sidewalk. hopefully, if i just do the right things and have the right outlook, i will be rewarded with all the right outcomes.
if not, my birthday is on the 15th of september. address to come...
the last panel shows the boy and tiger in the exact same spot, staring at their feet in total darkness.
i'm in the middle of my sidewalk and i have taken a moment to stop and tell you where i am at right now and the next step forward that i plan on taking. i have been told to remain positive, and that kind of reminds me of this thing that i read a couple weeks ago where the author said that even if you aren't feeling great, or things aren't going as they should, you should still act positive. they said that even putting on the facade of positivity will in turn bring positiveness to your life.
i don't know if i buy that. it kind of seems like being a little fake, or not letting people see how you truly feel, but i think i may be getting to the point where maybe people don't want to see someone who may be glum on certain days. i'm sure it's not a blast to be around somebody who isn't on their "A" game. things haven't been top notch yet either, so trying something new may be fun.
so...
i have been working at my job now for the past four months and it's been great! i have had a wonderful time struggling to learn this new job. every day that i go into work, i learn an exciting new challenging task while still doing things that i have been learning from previous days. my new job has taught me to even further develop my multi-tasking capabilities because i am given tasks by people who come up to my desk, by people that call me on the phone, by people who send me e-mails and through text messages! i think it's amazing the amount of work that i can get done everyday. i can see why i don't get a lunch break. who needs it anyway?
i am planning on moving into a new apartment in september. i love moving! the process of taking all of my things and packing them up into boxes to move isn't totally awesome, but it sure is something to do on a nice day outside. i have been dealing with some interesting potential landlords. i haven't met one yet that i have been completely comfortable with, but i know that it will happen soon enough. i may even be staying at the owner of my company's second house down the street from the office. that would be nice. 100 dollars a week with everything included will really give me a nice opportunity to be independent and to be able to save up some money. i am hoping that that goes through.
let's see, what else? oh yea, i am hoping that i can go to school next month. it would be nice to take some writing classes again. i think i am supposed to be here to write and i haven't done it to the capacity that i would have liked to up to this point, but that is all changing come september. the college isn't that far from anywhere that i am potentially going to live, so that's a good thing. i haven't taken a college class in about 10 years, but i know that i will do better than i did then! that was a mess back then! haha!
i met a girl that i like! she's definitely a breath of fresh air and although nothing is going on between us right now, i still am holding out hope for the future. she even knows it this time which is a plus and still seems to want to talk to me. i meet up with her and her friends a lot to play pool and hang out. it's been nice to actually hang out with people near my age group too. laughing has been great and i look forward to laughing more.
florida sure has been a challenge so far, but i feel that the next month could be a real page turner. i am ready to take another step forward on my sidewalk. hopefully, if i just do the right things and have the right outlook, i will be rewarded with all the right outcomes.
if not, my birthday is on the 15th of september. address to come...
Monday, August 2, 2010
a story about a tree
the seed was put into the ground one day years ago and everyone waited for it to come out of the soil and reach for the sun. some days while they waited, it rained and other days it was sunny, but they all gathered around the plot of ground that would give new life to the earth. it would have growing pains, and it would have good times. it would bask in the rays of the sunrise, and it would sleep during the moonlit nights.
and the sprout grew out and said hello to the world. the crowd of people gathered around it and praised this new thing that had appeared before them. some held each other close, while others danced around it. all of the people that had waited for it were smiling and grateful that the little guy was okay.
you could tell from the early days that this tree had the potential to be one of the great ones. it dug it's roots deep and made it's branches grow with the power of a tree 3 times it's age. it all seemed so easy to the sapling, and the people who gathered around nodded with approval and praise.
during it's young life, the tree was hit by hard times when some that were around him became enraged with others that this plant had taken up so much time from the ones that they wanted to be with. they shunned him ultimately. they tried to discourage the growth by snapping at it's twigs and kicking away the dirt from it's base. the tree still tried to grow up properly, but it had started to become hardened by the meanness of others.
he couldn't run away from it either. it would get worse as he grew, and the tree was showing signs of the abuse that had come his way. he developed a disease on his trunk and it stunted his growth. the few that were left that hadn't abandoned this once promising tree tried with all their might to patch the wounds that had afflicted it, but they couldn't do enough. the tree looked down at those that were there for him and appreciated all the help, but things were just going to be more difficult from this point forward.
he wasn't going to be the giant, blossoming plant that people expected. he might not even end up being like the others that had grown past him in recent years. his roots were strong though and he knew that things could be alright if he could just fix himself and grow again.
sometimes, a few people come around to the tree and point at it and put fertilizer down at it's base and tell each other about how great this tree could have been. they pat down the soil and rub it's bark and wonder what could have been. he hears all of that and appreciates the thoughts, but knows that those are words of failure.
the tree stands still, but that gives it time to observe everything. it sees a lot of the people that were once here, are not now. he wants to prove them wrong. he wants to be accepted as a great thing again. the sun shines down on it still and the rain gives life to it's soul. this tree will be great again.
this tree is not done yet.
and the sprout grew out and said hello to the world. the crowd of people gathered around it and praised this new thing that had appeared before them. some held each other close, while others danced around it. all of the people that had waited for it were smiling and grateful that the little guy was okay.
you could tell from the early days that this tree had the potential to be one of the great ones. it dug it's roots deep and made it's branches grow with the power of a tree 3 times it's age. it all seemed so easy to the sapling, and the people who gathered around nodded with approval and praise.
during it's young life, the tree was hit by hard times when some that were around him became enraged with others that this plant had taken up so much time from the ones that they wanted to be with. they shunned him ultimately. they tried to discourage the growth by snapping at it's twigs and kicking away the dirt from it's base. the tree still tried to grow up properly, but it had started to become hardened by the meanness of others.
he couldn't run away from it either. it would get worse as he grew, and the tree was showing signs of the abuse that had come his way. he developed a disease on his trunk and it stunted his growth. the few that were left that hadn't abandoned this once promising tree tried with all their might to patch the wounds that had afflicted it, but they couldn't do enough. the tree looked down at those that were there for him and appreciated all the help, but things were just going to be more difficult from this point forward.
he wasn't going to be the giant, blossoming plant that people expected. he might not even end up being like the others that had grown past him in recent years. his roots were strong though and he knew that things could be alright if he could just fix himself and grow again.
sometimes, a few people come around to the tree and point at it and put fertilizer down at it's base and tell each other about how great this tree could have been. they pat down the soil and rub it's bark and wonder what could have been. he hears all of that and appreciates the thoughts, but knows that those are words of failure.
the tree stands still, but that gives it time to observe everything. it sees a lot of the people that were once here, are not now. he wants to prove them wrong. he wants to be accepted as a great thing again. the sun shines down on it still and the rain gives life to it's soul. this tree will be great again.
this tree is not done yet.
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