the diary of jude newcomb

My Occu-Time in Washington

2012-01-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

As I stepped off the train, I knew Ihad no time to waste. I was in Washington DC, and I had to findMcPherson Square. My bag was heavy, filled with all the necessitiesof my trip. I had with me my clothes, my tent, my blankets, and allthe other things that I would need for my nights out in the elements.I hailed the first taxi that I saw and asked him to take me toMcPherson Square. He obliged.

We arrived at the square around fouro'clock and I knew that I had to get my tent set up quickly before itgot dark. The park was full and I didn't know where to set up. A gentleman came up to me in an old sweater and he had a beard. Hisname was Bill. Bill directed me to a spot in the square that was notbeing used and told me that I could set up there. I told Bill that Ihad no idea how to set up the tent and he did it for me. Acts ofkindness like this happened the entire time that I was there inWashington DC for the protest of Occupy Congress.

After my tent was set up, I decided togo get something eat and went to a local pizzeria that was down thestreet. After I was done, it was dark out and I decided to go back tothe tent, my new home. I climbed inside my tent around 8:30 PM, and Iheard the first trickling of rain on the top of my tent. I felt sorelieved to be inside, safe and secure. I picked up the John Grishamnovel that I got from the people's library, and started to read.After a while, I reached my arm out to stretch and felt the puddle ofrain that had collected inside the tent. I let out a sigh, but itdidn't seem to be too bad and the rain had seemed to end.

What I didn't realize was that the tarpthat my tent was sitting on was bigger than the tent. The rain thatwas falling down the tent ended up going onto the tarp and thencollected under the tent, which then seeped into the tent itself.When I fell asleep, I did not realize that the rain started again inthe water began to come into the tent again and started to soak intomy sleeping bag. I woke up and my feet were damp and I had to changemy socks. I noticed that the water was starting to come in, but Icould do nothing about it. I put on a pair of shoes, and went back tosleep. I only slept for a couple more hours when I woke up and mypants were wet, the sleeping bag was wet, and my feet were cold againand wet. I was shivering and cold, but I knew that this is what Iwanted to do. This is where I wanted to be. Hundreds of other people were in the same square as I was, and I wanted to see it through.

I woke up around 5 AM and waited forStarbucks to open. When they did, I got myself a coffee and a bananaand waited to meet up with everybody at Union Station at 8 AM. Itfelt good to be inside. I met up with a fellow protester inStarbucks, and we talked about where we came from. He was happy tohear that I was from Florida and I was happy to hear that he was fromCalifornia. I heard stories all day of people coming from all acrossthe country to be in this spot for this protest at this time.

When I arrived at Union Station, therain started again. I met up with other people from The 99%Declaration, and we drank coffee and discussed what we were going tobe doing during the course of the day. We left the train station atabout 8:30 AM, and made her way to the Capitol building by foot. Wearrived there at nine o'clock, and there is only a couple of peoplethere. I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I started to thinkthat it was a waste of the trip because nobody was there. Slowly butsurely though, people started to come. After about a half-hour, theOccupiers from the two different camps across the city could be seencoming up the street with a police escort to where the protest wasbeing held.

Throughout the day the crowd swelled,and for the most part it was pretty peaceful. A few people gotarrested, but it was only a handful. I was in charge of tweeting forThe 99% Declaration about what happened during the course of the day.I took pictures of what was going on, which included peopleconversing with the police, people chanting, and all the ideas thatwere being spread around. After a few hours of this, the group that Iwas with decided to go get something to eat.

We ate at Hamilton's Bar and Grill. Igot one of the best bowls of chili I've ever had. It was so warm andso good that I ate it in about 23 seconds. After recharging mystomach and my phone, we went back to the protesting area. It wastime for the march. By now there were thousands of people there. At6:30 PM, the entire group headed to the streets.

The police escorted us through thestreets. All the traffic was stopped. People in buses and cars wavedto us and honk their horns as we walked by. It was one of the mostsurreal experiences of my life. I was among thousands of peoplewalking in the streets of Washington DC with hundreds of policearound me, and it felt right. We reached the steps of the SupremeCourt, and hundreds of people filled the stairs. We started to chant.We started to clap. We started to cheer. We were there to tell theSupreme Court that they work for the people. After a few minutes anda lot of pictures, we descended back down the stairs, and toward theWhite House.

After a lengthy walk, we reached theWhite House. I never realized it before because I had never seen it,that the White House has floodlights that can point out towardsPennsylvania Avenue. Secret Service had turned them on and pointedthem at the protest. At the same time, you could see soldiers on theWhite House lawn with machine guns pointed out at the crowd. On bothsides of the protest, in the streets, you could see police gettingsuited up in riot gear and loading teargas canisters into their guns.It was getting pretty serious, so the protesters decided to move onand go back to the capital lawn.

That night, I was actually able to stayin a friend's hotel room. I had never slept on a more comfortablefloor in my entire life! I woke up the next day, said goodbye to somereally good friends that I met, got on the train, and headed backhome.

This trip validated everything that Ihave been doing so far as far as my involvement with the 99%movement. The unity that I felt was something that I had never feltbefore. Everyone was friendly. Everyone was there for the commongood. Everyone was there for justice. The corruption in this countryhas got to end and we will not go away.

It was a shame to see how wrong themedia got it, but that's to be expected. They claim that there werehundreds there, but a police officer told me that there were between5000 and 6000. The media claimed that somebody threw a smoke bomb onthe White House lawn. They were wrong. It was a police officer. Theyclaim that we have no direct message. They claim that we argue witheach other about why we're there. They were wrong. Everybody that Italked to knew exactly why we were there. We were there to show theworld that we know there are corrupt people in Washington. We werethere to say that we are not going to take it anymore. We are on tothem. The people in Washington do not represent us. The people inWashington represent themselves and the corporations that buy them.That is unacceptable. We will not rest until the corruption and greedare thrown out of Washington by any means necessary. This is the maingoal of the 99% movement. To get the money out of politics.

It is no surprise to me that themainstream media has a blackout on the entire situation. It is nosurprise to me that the mainstream media chooses to downplay whatactually occurs. It is no surprise to me that the mainstream medialabels the people involved in this movement as being dirty, lazyhippies. It is no surprise to me that the mainstream media focuses onthe arrests. The mainstream media is owned by the exact samecorporations that we are fighting to get out of politics. They have nointerest in our movement because our movement is designed to dissolvethem as far as their interests in politics are concerned. They arenot welcome in Washington.

So on a cold, rainy day in Washington,I joined with thousands of other people from all across the countryto tell Congress, to tell corporations, to tell the president that weare unstoppable. Another world is possible.

Spring is around the corner. We are notgoing away.

happy new year's resolution

2012-01-03T08:07:00.001-08:00

hello, family and friends. happy new year! i hope that the year is already off to a great start for you and your loved ones. i am down here in florida still working away at life and...well, work. recently, i have been asked what my resolution is for the new year and i have been saying that i didn't have a resolution because it sets myself up for failure when i inevitably would break that resolution. this is not entirely true. i have a resolution.

i am going to be pretty blunt in this post. if i offend any of you, i apologize in advance, but the time has come for the country to act against the actions that have taken place against us. this country is no longer a country by the people and for the people. it is a country that is by the corporations and for the corporations. it is run by the heads of a few multi-billion dollar corporations by using politicians as cronies to do their biddings and i for one am sick of it. the corruption in this country has to stop and you need to realize this. i beg of you to get off your behinds and act. the people that run this country continue to wish that you remain apathetic and have an attitude of not caring or believing that you can make a difference in the fight. they want you to believe that it has to be like this. they want you to continue taking where the sun doesn't shine because that's just always the way it's been and you should be used to it by now.

go on. keep living the life you are living. keep making the same damn paycheck every week. as you eek your way through the year, cutting back on things that you used to enjoy, remember that it doesn't have to be this way. think of your children and what their future is going to be like. it doesn't have to be this way. by the time they finish college, if they even go to college, they will have amassed a student loan debt of close to a quarter of a million dollars...or you will have. it doesn't have to be this way. if you do get a bump in pay this year, it will be miniscule most likely. good for you. those at the top will have made this money right back from you with rising costs of goods, inflation, and rising gas prices.

why do you accept that things cost more and more everyday? why do you accept that the very people that are raping us financially have had no accountability and are still getting million dollar bonus checks every year from your tax dollars. why are you not mad as hell at all of the injustice that is going on? i do not understand why i go on facebook everyday and never see anything from people about what is going on in the world, or opinions on the matters. for the most part, i see people talking about football, or where they are going, or bitching about child support, or how they are going shopping during black friday. god, are we that focused on the unimportant daily nonsense that we cannot seem to focus on the fact that your life is controlled by the few at the top in everything you do and that all you do is continue to focus on other things? are you that ignorant? by now, i know that you know about the occupy movement. i also know that a lot of you get your news from the mainstream media. if you choose to know about this and still choose to ignore what is going on in the world, that is ignorance and choosing the side of the corrupt.

maybe though, you just don't want to stir the pot. maybe you like where you are in life. maybe you don't want to do anything on facebook that would cause family or friends to think of you differently. maybe you don't want to have a voice. just keep on trudging along through life making the same pay, putting money into a 401k that will be gambled away by the banks, and try and save to send your kids to school. maybe you don't think that you can make a difference. maybe you don't want to do anything that would effect your family.

the one thing we can all do in this world is bring justice to those that are doing wrong to our family and fellow man. just because those that are rich and powerful does not mean that they are allowed to do this, or that they are untouchable. they deserve to be treated like you or i. they are not out of reach. they are out of touch with the morality of mankind and they need to be held accountable. they need to be taken out of office. the corporate financial heads that ruined this country need to be put in jail for ruining the lives of millions by destroying the housing market, destroying retirement funds, destroying the value of our dollar, infesting the government with their bribes of campaign money, and the smiles on their faces in the public eye while they do it behind closed doors with handshakes and a toast to greed.

it is time to make a stand. it is time to say enough is enough. we are the people! this is our country for all to prosper. it is not to just get by. we are supposed to be able to live the dreams we have.

those in power need to be removed. they need to be replaced with non-career politicians that have term limits. corporations should not be viewed as people and they should not be allowed to contribute campaign money unless all campaign money goes into a pool that is distributed evenly among all candidates. people are in power not for you. they are in power for themselves and their friends. they are in power to have power and to keep power. that is a far cry from their jobs. their jobs are to ensure that your life is better. that your jobs are fruitful and meaningful. their jobs are to protect the constitution of the united states of america and not to tear it apart without your consent.

what can you do? speak up! demand to be heard! protest! if you have no time or are not ready to do that then donate money to organizations like occupy wall street, or to the99declaration.org. being quiet will not change anything. ignorance will only make it worse. the time to be heard is now! be anonymous or be out in the open about it. just please don't do anything. that is the worst thing you can do. educate yourself.

this is not about asking for handouts from those that have succeeded. this is about those that have succeeded by being unjust. it is about holding those accountable by any means necessary. it is about doing what i am asked to do as a human being. do unto others as i would have done unto me.

this year, i am going to do my best to make this country great again and give the power back to the people. don't be apathetic anymore. please. if you need proof learn about the ndaa act, sopa, glass steagall, the federal reserve, citizens united, credit default swaps, derivatives, the war on terror, halliburton, goldman sachs' involvement in our government, etc, etc, etc.

it is no longer time to just go to work and live life like there is nothing wrong. there is so much wrong and you should be angry as hell. the hypocrisy in this union is incredible. the time for revolution is here. from the inside out. get off your ass and do something for yourself and those you love before it is too late.

Congress is Obsolete, or How I Would Change America Into a True Democracy.

2011-11-16T21:23:00.001-08:00

The car made horse and buggy obsolete. The airplane made cross-country trips and intercontinental travel faster and safer. The computer made working environments easier and more time efficient to manage. The microwave has given the world a faster way, albeit not a more tasty alternative in my opinion, to eat meals.

Congress has been around for hundreds of years now. The world has changed in leaps and bounds since it's inception. Congress was initiated in a time when traveling around the country was very difficult for Americans. The leaders of the new nation decided that in order for the people's voices to be heard in all decisions for the country, they would vote for and elect representatives from their area of the country and send them to Washington D.C. to represent them and their views as best they could. They were elected for the people, by the people, and to vote on issues with how the majority of those people in their district would vote on different bills presented to the American people.

Representatives were sent from all corners of the country to this city of Washington D.C. and congress was born. The people of the time put their faith in these people to represent them as best as they could. Americans read what was going on in the world in newspapers and by word of mouth. The people of the country relied on these elected officials to keep abreast on world issues, national issues, and to represent the local issues of the people that supported him back home.

While this idea of how a democracy could be run was effective and functional back in it's day, the very idea of having a congress today makes no sense and needs to be overhauled dramatically. The new millennium has made way for an amazing array of technologies that make the very existence of congress non-essential. If it is on a strict look at the reasons alone for why their is congress in the first place, there are a couple of important reasons as to why the theory of it was put in place in our system of governance to begin with. One is what i explained earlier, the people needed to be represented according to the majority of what people in certain districts believed. These people could not all be in Washington at the same time, and thus, needed to send somebody there to be their voice of reason. Secondly, congress was a part of a three system checks and balance system that was to have no more or less power than the president and the supreme court.

Times have changed and both of these conditions can be preserved in a system of true democracy. A system where all people will be represented fairly and the corruption of single individuals who are influenced by big business and lobbyists would become a thing of the past. I am disgusted at the way that my vote is being represented in this country. I am sick of turning on the news, or reading an article online, and hearing about a congressman who is being investigated for doing this, or how a congresswoman has done that. I am sick of seeing how much money is required to run a political campaign, and since there is not term limits on congressmen, most of them take large amounts of money from corporations and usually return this favor throughout the course of their term.

I am sick of how i hear stories of how much a member of congress is worth before and after they arrive in Washington. I am sick of how many of them end up afterwards being a member of a lobby group in Washington, or take high paying jobs at the corporations that contributed to their campaigns during their political days. I am sick of how members of institutions were bailed out with taxpayer money and they continue to get money to this day as a means to stay viable and to be able to stay in business, but the leaders and executives of these companies receive bonuses given out to each other while nobody in congress pays this much mind unless it is just a soundbite on some tv interview where they are only on there for the publicity, and not to truly create action into the wrongdoings because they have been bought. I am sick that nobody stands for anything anymore. We have nobody to trust. It doesn't matter if you are Republican or Democratic: almost all politicians in washington are in washington for two reasons and that is to stay in Washington and make money.

Power and greed, power and greed. It is who represents us today. The sad truth is, is that the power and greed that those in power represent aren't even directed towards the people in their districts. No, they are solely for themselves and the people are the ones who are suffering on a daily basis. The very rich are getting richer, and the poor are getting poorer, and the middle class is drifting into becoming new members of the proletariat. When the congressmen that we elect are in the rich getting richer category, why should they really care about the rest of the country? Do we really expect that morality would be something that these people have? Where does this notion come from that so-and-so is a great leader and cares for me and the american people? Can we really trust in someone we don't know that much and be that apathetic?

America has grown by leaps and bounds since she was born. How can we put this much faith in those we vote for when so much is at stake and so much money can be made? We don't have to anymore.

Congress is obsolete. It is unnecessary. It was a way to get things done. It is not the only way to get things done. Not anymore. All voices can count. The American people can be that other cog in the checks and balances scale on a much more intimate level.

We live in the age of technology. Everyone can be anywhere in a click of a button. The internet has changed the way the world thinks, reacts, and learns. News is instantaneous. Opinions are generated within seconds of something happening 10,000 miles away. All of our thoughts and feelings can be expressed to the world if they want to see it on various social networking sites. We can harness this power into creating a congress of the people, represented by all of the people. There would no longer be a need for congressmen and women to clog the throats of democracy with stall tactics and filibusters. There would be no more need for political campaigns, except for the president who represents us in foreign matters, which means that there would be no more abilities for corporations to buy into campaigns, and thus, be able to buy into laws that would benefit them and hurt the American people.

What i propose is a daily voting social website. So far this year, the Senate has voted on 206 bills. 206 bills in 320 days. That may seem like a lot of bills but it is less than 1 bill a day. Some of these bills are to confirm politicians in different states, or in Washington. We can truly make it the law of the land if we can manage to translate onto a social website that can be accessed by every television, telephone, computer, or wireless device in America. Everyone has one of these in their possession. If you don't then we can make hotlines available in any public library or school. It isn't that hard to get to one of those devices. The people would have the ability to vote on all issues presented and be able to present them themselves.

People would be able to vote by registering on the site by using their social security number and PIN number. They could research any of the votes up for debate and vote on what they have knowledge on. they would not have to vote on every bill presented and they don't have to vote at all, but they would have the ability to do so. Any matter that they deem as important to them, they can have a voice and have a vote that mattered and know in good faith that their vote was not diluted in corruption or backroom handshakes. If a vote is to confirm someone as a judge or what have you in certain states, then that vote would be just for people in the state that would be effected by the outcome.

Bills would be presented to the people by action from the people. Bills would be written by leaders voted on by the people who would have term limits to no more than two terms of two years each and these leaders would present bills to those in his/her state first. This will ensure that the country would not get flooded with bills and have too much information for them to process. If a bill is deemed worthy to continue, the people in his/her state will pass it and it will go on to the national stage where all would vote on it. The person elected to make these decisions will not be able to run their campaign with any political contributions from corporations and they will make up only bills that deal with national/state issues. The president will enlist the help of cabinet members to keep an eye on foreign policy and present bills to the American people as to how we want to take action overseas.

All the bills would be presented to the people through the internet, television, and newspapers. People would either go to the website and clear the security checkpoints that would be built for authenticity and vote, or they could call the voting hotline and speak to a representative, or an automated system. All the votes would be recorded and you could see your voting history if you chose to.

This is my idea. I am open to suggestions on how to make it better if you don't agree with all of it, or how things could be made better. I believe that it would end corruption. It may need some tweaks, but I believe that the basic premise of the plan would be groundbreaking and instrumental in changing the world and the face of American politics where everyone has a voice, and it would matter. Why do we have to put blind faith into someone we don't really know when we can trust the one person we know better than anyone else? The one person who we know will represent the people with dignity, honor, and honesty is the answer. Ourselves.

history repeating...for who?

2011-11-13T20:05:00.001-08:00

history can't repeat what it hasn't even witnessed. history can only be studied when there is actual facts to go off of. history isn't a judgement of what could potentially happen in the future when based off of fear. history is pretty straight forward. history is repeating itself as we speak...

let's take a look.

once, there was a girl. she was a very pretty girl. she had the world at her fingertips and she wanted to do all that she could to make a difference in the world and in the lives of others. she was also very smart. she went to a really good school in the big city and had it made. or, so it would seem.

growing up as a child, this girl grew up in a family with a brother and sister and she was quite different from them. she was often teased that she was not even a part of the family and this girl even questioned this as an adult. she was taller and had a different nose and complexion from the others and that fueled her sense of being an outcast in her own family.

and then there was dad. what a man. what a great example on how not to treat your children. he was an abusive mess that squandered money and treated his children like crap. the abuse that he spewed upon his children struck the girl at the very core and imprinted the girl with the image of what a man should be. she carried this into adulthood.

she would pick guys to be in her life that imitated how her father treated her growing up and she would breakup and get back together constantly with these men that treated her like crap. they would get drunk and they would yell. they would talk down to her and they would make her feel like she wasn't worth anything that was worthwhile. she was a flower that had bloomed in the beginning of spring, but a flower that was so beautiful and yet placed in a closet, in a basement, and never showcased by those that she cared about. she was placed in these places to wither up and just get by on the occasional good word or two that would be given to her.

and she almost gave up at different points. she spent time in hospitals and she lost her way here and there. she ran to other places to start over and she travelled to forget the past. she tried therapy because she could see what she was going through was killing her and she wanted to find a new way to live. she never stayed in therapy for very long though. it's tough to face the past, especially when she thought she had the answers and knew which way to turn next. controlling her own life, she moved on.

and she met a new guy. he was a nice guy she thought. he worked out and had a nice smile. he treats me nice and means well. he just gets angry every once in awhile when he drinks, but he's working on it. he'll be okay. i love this man that has yelled at me for no good reason in the past. that is behind him now. i know it. i'm so good, he will change his ways with me.

there was a guy too that was a really good friend of this girl. she and him shared all their secrets about the past to one another and told each other how they truly felt at any given time. sure he liked her, loved her even. they shared a kiss one time in the very beginning of knowing one another. he tried on multiple occasions to start a relationship with this girl. he wanted to treat her the way that she should be treated. he knew she was special. he could talk to her about anything and could laugh with her about the world. at the same time, he could enjoy his time with her without having the relationship and looked forward to chatting with her whenever it happened.

he looked forward to her on a daily basis because he felt alone in the world. he was going through his own things too and one night he started to plan the end of it all. he reached out to her and she helped him through this time of trouble like he had in the past for her. they always looked out for each other. she asked him to come and stay with her for awhile to get away from his problems for a bit. he went to his family and they agreed that it would be a good idea.

she told him that she was not with her man anymore when she originally told him to stay with her, but that they were working things out. this is the guy that was treating her poorly before, but she thought that he was really trying and she wanted to work things out. she ultimately decided that the guy she had shared so much with throughout the years shouldn't come because he would obviously want to be looking for a relationship again and she didn't think that would be fair for the ex that she wanted to reconcile with. she cited the fact that history repeats and she doesn't want that to happen.

and now she is back together with him. just like how she got back together with the boyfriends of the past. she sees that he has really tried hard to change his entire way of being in the last couple months and that he is going to be on the straight and narrow now. history surely doesn't repeat for people like him, or like her. she isn't trying to find someone like her dad. she isn't living over and over again with a relationship where the guy treats her like shit. no, no. that isn't repeating. no, what is repeating is that this damn guy i have known for so long, who actually cares about me and has never treated me like crap keeps saying that he wants me as a girlfriend. what nerve! i got this guy right now who treats me like shit occasionally, but he is turning it around. you'll see. i will fix this relationship because i owe it to myself because i couldn't do it with my father. that's what i am gonna do. i won't just accept someone who cares about me and that's it. that would be too easy. i don't deserve that.

things may be good now, but she believes that history repeats. her friend hopes she is prepared then for what she has done to herself again. it's gonna happen. it may not be now, next week, or next month...but, it's going to happen. she says so herself. and then what? who's next? who can fix her?

as the sun sets

2011-11-11T20:09:00.001-08:00

he grabbed his iced tea and walked out onto the porch. sitting down in the fading sun, he heard the voices of crickets in the fields around him. the rocking chair creaked as he started to sway. he had surely seen his fair share of sunsets. grey now, his hair had receded back from it's once youthful abundance. his face and hands were seasoned and wrinkled from a life spent living and working like anybody else. he took a sip of his drink as kids rode by his rancher on the dirt road that his house sat next to. he waved and smiled into the sky.

oh, to be young again he thought to himself. to be able to do it all over again! how he wished for those days again when he could carry maggie lee's books home from school. he remembered his first car and taking it downtown the first chance he could to show it off to his friends. he was so athletic back then. picturing himself running down the field during high school football games and hearing the crowd scream as he crossed the goal line he closed his eyes and relished in the memories. he opened his eyes and looked all around him.

and there was nothing around him. his house was out in the middle of nowhere with about a mile in between houses. his wife, nicole, passed away from cancer about four years earlier and he was now just waiting for his time. he thought of his time left on earth as a precursor to his time to come in heaven. he questioned the lord for a time about why he took his beloved first, but that time had come and gone now. he knew that the things in life happened for a reason and he would just relax his soul in his final days of life.

yes, he took a sip from his perspiring glass and brushed the drops off his shirt that fell from the bottom of the glass. he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and let out a sigh. the sun was coming down the sky now at a good pace and he anticipated the color show to pick up at any moment as the ball of fire made it's way toward the tree line in the distance.

it reminded him of his days as a truck driver. he would take his loads across the entire nation and he sat back in his chair and rocked away while thinking of all the magnificent sunsets he had witnessed. all the colors he had seen painted across the most beautiful canvas ever created. the pinks and oranges mixing with purples and blues set his mind into utter awe as he kept his motor cruising down the highway into the unknown. driving was a time of peace for him when he was out on the open road with nobody around. he was fine being by himself for long stretches of time. he remembered how he used to sing out loud in his cab while the sounds of the day filtered through his ears. oh, how that brought a smile to his face.

he remembered that feeling he had as he walked back through the door, of the very home he sat in front of now, to see nicole turn from prepping dinner in the kitchen and how she would run to him and kiss his lips. it was the best reward for a job well done he could ever had asked for and she gave that gift to him every time he came back home to her. she was all that he could ever had hoped for in life. she had a smile that only god could have provided him. she was a dedication from god to him. how he missed her. he kept her voice running in his head all day long now. he longed to hear her yell to him that dinner would be ready soon and could he set the table. one day soon it would be again he thought.

he gazed off into the distance. he practically was looking through the distance now and into what was to be. he was content with his life. he didn't do much to improve the world, but the people around him improved his life and he liked to think that he helped the people he knew as much as he could. he raised a good family and his children were parents now themselves doing the best they could for their own. this put a smile on his face. what more could he have asked for? by no means was he rich monetarily, but his life had been a landslide of royalties that made him the richest man in the world.

he had loved. he was loved. he appreciated. he was appreciated.

now, as the sun set underneath the horizon, he got up slowly from his chair out on the porch and stretched his back and arms. he turned towards the door and made his way. he turned the knob and pushed it open. he heard his kids scream daddy with huge smiles on their faces as they ran to him. he picked them up. one in each arm and kissed them on their heads as the dog barked and wagged his tail frantically beside them. his wife peeked around the corner and walked up to him with a smirk on her face. he set the kids down and took his best friend in the whole world into his arms as she welcomed him home.

What Are Your Demands?

2011-11-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

Today was my first public demonstration. I, like many others, have felt that my government has failed me. I am not too sure if it ever was succeeding for me in the first place. Sure, I have had an education given to me through high school and I live in a free country that gives me the ability to write what I am about to write, but I feel that the ability to grow and to become successful in our current environment is hard at best. That is why I believe in the Occupy Together movement and stand in solidarity with those around the country in Occupy demonstrations. This morning, I had to become a part of the solution as opposed to just complaining about the problems.

I walked up to the park in front of the Selby Library at 9:30am to find a group already assembled and we talked one at a time to each other about what we were so against. It was a group of about fifty or so and the people came from all facets of life. There was young, old, rich, and poor. We all came from different angles of the social spectrum, but we all had a common voice. That voice spoke out to the fact that there is something fundamentally wrong with America, we have little say right now in how things are being handled, and that we wanted to find a way to empower ourselves again. After we all greeted each other, we took to the streets with our signs and our voices.

And we marched. We took our voices up and down Main St. We parked our campaign in front of major banking institutions like Bank of America and Suntrust Bank. As we walked and chanted slogans like, "WHO GOT BAILED OUT? BANKS GOT BAILED OUT! WHO GOT SOLD OUT? WE GOT SOLD OUT!", people not involved with the protests looked on in the beautiful Florida sunshine. Others in cars and trucks that drove by put there windows down to hear what we were saying. Most of the people that went by gave us the thumbs up, or smiled, and others honked their horns as they drove by. And yes, a handful of people yelled back at us to get a job, or that they disagreed and that we should go home. All of these were acceptable answers to us because even if you were displeased with what we were saying, our message was getting out there to the masses and that message would stick in the minds of those that saw and heard it.

We made our way back to the park around 12:30pm and we gathered to chat to passerby's who had questions for us. A lot of the people that had questions about our movement had similar questions and seemed to have been misinformed by the media as to what we were doing out there. Someone that I was talking to made it seem like the only goal of our operation was that we were looking for some kind of handout from the rich. This is far from the truth.

I can tell you what I was there for, and what a lot of others there would agree with. The government is corrupted by corporations. The corporations run today by the 1% of our nation have a stranglehold on our entire country and all that inhabit it. My goal in my life is to see that corporations are no longer allowed to be viewed in this country as a person and should not be allowed to donate a single penny to any political campaign or party. Politicians in this country are bought figures who do only as the corporations say for them to do. This country is for the people, not for the business of the elite. Politicians are put into office to represent the people and to accurately judge what the majority of people in their district want so that their lives become better. It is not to institute zero regulations on major businesses and help them to create a monopoly over the lives of the American public. Maybe if we instituted campaign finance reform to eliminate businesses from being able to influence politicians, and also create term limits for Congress, we can start on a road to what the people need again.

I read earlier in the week that the average politician is worth half a million dollars. Half a million dollars. How on Earth can someone who is worth that kind of money, who spends all their time in Washington D.C. know what it is like to be poor? To have debt up to their ears from college loans, or unethical credit card companies? To have to drive to work and have a job, if they are lucky, which has paid them the same wage over the past 5 years or so, while in that time span the average income for those in the 1% has gone up over 200%? Politicians don't know what it's like, and they don't care. What they are worried about is staying in power and continuing to stay in power and doing whatever it takes and shake whatever hand is necessary in order to maintain the status quo. Politicians in office today are parasites and they feed off the poorest of Americans, which is turning out to be more and more everyday, the 99%. Me and you.

People asked us, "What do you want? What are you goals? How do you plan on fixing all this?" It is a hard question to answer as we are in such a stage of infancy of this movement that the conclusions are unclear. What I can tell you is that this movement is not going away. Eventually, a consensus as to what actions need to take place will be made, but for now, voicing our concerns and our unhappiness will have to do. This displeasure is popping up more and more everyday all across the country from major cities like New York City to smaller cities like here in Sarasota. The goals of the movement are simply to affect change and to bring about social reform where the rights of all people are taken into account based on our Constitution and not based on the boardroom of a company out for itself and it's top shareholders. We are hear right now to let it be known that this is not going to take place on our watch anymore and that something has to give. And we can do it. And we will do it. There are more of us than them and all corrupt empires fall. We represent all of those that are oppressed: unemployed, employed, black, white, red, brown, teachers, policemen, firemen, small business owners. Anyone who has felt the backhand of our government over the past few decades. It is time to wake up and we are ready to go.

I had an extremely educational day. I have learned that for the most part, the media has gotten this wrong. There is no savagery. There is no unsanitary conditions. This was a peaceful day that promoted a message that we are all Americans and that as Americans we need to look out for each other because if you really think that the ones that we elected have our best interests in mind then you need to look up the word naive in the dictionary.

Finally, I heard many great things on my walk around Sarasota today, but one of the best things that I heard was when someone I was protesting with was asked what his demands were. He replied, "I am not a terrorist. I have no demands."

We are seeking true freedom and a true democracy in a peaceful manner.

sitting, waiting in the grass

2011-09-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

in a tiny town, in a big state, there sat some land in a faraway place. it was a little off the beaten path, but not to far from the cars that buzz by the highway a mile or so away. on this plot of land, sat a place of commerce. it was a building that stood like an old blues man sitting on a stool. a little slanted to one side, but still kept living strong. the land sported patches of grass, but mostly dirt, which whipped up into little vortexes everyone now and then when the spirits moved through.

behind the building was a cemetery of sorts. it was filled with cars and trucks. this was a junkyard. this is where cars were brought to die. this is where they were brought when everyone had given up on them. they sat there in the back of the yard. they sat there and waited for their guts to be removed one by one until there was nothing left but just a shell of what they used to be. they sat there dented and damaged from the past. they sat there and remembered what it had been like long ago.

one car in particular yearned for the way it was. he remembered when he sat in the showroom brand new, ready to take on the rigors of life. he harked on the moment that he saw his first owners come in and take him out of the dealership, no longer alone, but with his new family. he took them wherever they wanted to go. they went on trips out of state and he brought them to work everyday. he was always there for them and they appreciated him and took care of him in return. he welcomed the addition to their family and gladly took care of it as best he could. after a few years though, that family grew apart from each other and the wife went away with the child. the husband could no longer enjoy him like he had before as it reminded him of the past and so one day he brought the car to a used car dealership and just traded him away for another car. it was over and he was back where he started, waiting for someone new to come along. waiting to make someone happy again.

and that time came after a month or two. the owner came in and said they just needed something to get around in. the car knew that he was no longer new, but knew that he could make this man happy. they drove off together and he was neglected from the very start. the man paid no attention to him. he talked all the time on his phone and slammed on the accelerator and the brakes all the time. the man would not change his oil on time and he got into fender benders here and there and wouldn't fix the car. the vehicle wished for the past, but knew that the past was just a memory. the future was the only thing left.

one day, in a blink of an eye, an older woman came by the house where the car was parked and she drove away with the car, who was now 11 years old. his insides knocked and he needed new tires and the woman did all she could to rejuvenate the car, but it was no use. the car tried all it could to get her to where she wanted to go, and understood her attempts at saving him, but she didn't have the money for the parts that he needed. one day, as he was taking her to work, he broke down on the side of the highway and she got out and walked away from him. later, he was picked up by a tow truck and was taken to where he sits today.

the grass was growing up around his tires and the rain was just collecting on his roof. the car looked around at the carcasses that sat scattered around him and he wept inside for another shot. another chance. he could make someone happy again. he just needed to be cared for in return. he could be what he used to be if he was believed in by someone, anyone. so far, nothing of his had been parted out for sale and he just hoped that someone would need him.

and one day it happened. a kid came into the backyard and saw him. he remembered the cars from when they came out with this body style years ago and appreciated it and wanted it. he just wanted to see if the engine would still turn over. if he could drive it the short distance to his home, so that he could fix him up, he would keep him. the car was nervous. he wanted nothing more than to start just one more time so that he could leave this place he was brought to die to. the kid sat in the driver seat and took the keys from the worker and put it in the ignition.

he turned the key and the car tried to breathe again, like before. it chugged and chugged and tried with all his might to turn over just one more time and get out of that place. just one more time, it thought. you can do it...you can do this. believe you can. and he clenched and shimmied and turned over his engine into an engulfing roar of victory! he did it! he was ready to go with the kid who had a delightful grin on his face.

of course the ride back home was a grueling one with aches and pains of the past, but the car focused on the future. he was ready to be fixed up and helped along by the ones that loved him. he was ready to make a difference to someone again. he was ready to be meaningful again...

and he was so grateful.

sorry isn't a big enough word

2011-04-18T15:22:00.001-07:00

i need to say i'm sorry, but i keep looking for the words that you will hear from me that could make a difference. i know i messed up miserably and if i can just get one more chance from you, i would make a difference in it all. i know that you don't want to hear from me right now. i know that i am not what people say you need at all in your life.

all i wish for is just one chance to show you and to show them all the truth. i have lied to you about this and that. i have lied and done things behind your back. i just want for you to see that that isn't me. i am sorry that i hurt you so bad. i am sorry that you never even want to turn back and see my face again. i know that what i did was wrong, over and over again i said things that just weren't true. i know that if i got just one more shot, just one more chance, i can make you happy and make you laugh. from the time that i get up until the sky goes black, i think of how i can get you back. i don't think that the chances exist, but i have to hold on to the possibility it can.

when we weren't hanging out i did something i regret. i just didn't want you to know that it went down the way it did. i just want to take this moment to say how sorry i am. the decision to not tell you right away has driven you so far away from me and i don't know what to do, but i wish that we could talk for a minute or two. i am just wishing for that shot.

sitting in the bar just the other day, i gave you my things so that i'd be okay. you helped me out with a hug and said it'd be okay. knowing right now that i will never see your face again, or hear your laugh, it destroys my soul in ways that can't be imagined. i know what i did was wrong, but i can't go back and change the past. all that i can do is prove to you that i am not that man. i am not that man i swear. my days and nights since that friday night have been filled with meetings and your glowing face and i just don't know what to do anymore because i don't have your soul to bounce things off of my mind. i wish that i could turn back time. i wish for one last chance to show you what i am inside.

i am not this cloud of deception and lies. i may not show it all the time, but i can make you happy in your life. i just need to do the things that will make me grow. i need to make sure that i do things right. if my word is my bond, i have made a joke of my life. i just want to tell the world what's in my heart. i am a liar and a thief of the heart. i know i hurt you really bad and i am sorry.

i don't want to ever hurt you again. if we never talk again i understand, but i just wish for one more chance to prove to you that i can beat this thing in my life that tries to control me in my mind. i have found god again and he is going to lead me to the light. i just wish that you can find it deep inside to let me in your life. the regret that i have has filled me up and the blame that i have is on fire inside. it is so hard not to hear anything you say, i wish all of the past went away. i wish that you could see me from this point on and know that i'm a good man, but right now i'm not and i can't go back and it hurts me, but that is life.

i understand if you never give me another hello. i just hope that this isn't goodbye.

i am so sorry. please give me another shot.

no, no...after you.

2010-11-28T20:17:00.001-08:00

he put on his pajamas and grabbed his alarm clock from the nightstand, setting it to his usual time. climbing into bed, he prayed that tomorrow would be better and then he shut his eyes and fell asleep.

he awoke to the blare of a ac/dc tune and he jumped out of bed with a great smile on his face. he went into the bathroom and did all the usual bathroom morning things, ate breakfast and walked out the door. he skipped down the stairs of his apartment complex and got to the front door. he noticed an older gentleman who was coming inside from the snow and he decided to do his first good deed of the day and hold open the door for this gingerly fellow. the old man didn't look up, or even say a word, as he slid by the open door and went on his way toward his home.

he made his own way outside and toward his car in the parking lot on the side of the building. he climbed in and turned on the defroster and waited for the ice to melt on his windshield a little bit before he could scrape off the ice. next to him, he noticed a woman who was trying to use her credit card to deice her car, so he walked over and tried to give her a hand. she told him to please back away from the car, and that everything was fine. he turned around, got back to his car, scraped away the night air, and got in his car to go to work.

driving along the freeway, the traffic was pretty heavy. he didn't have very many miles to drive on it, so he stuck himself in the right lane and went on his way, listening to guster on the radio. while tapping his fingers to the beat of the bongo player, he noticed that his exit was coming up, but traffic was thick for the other drivers who needed to get over. he noticed a blue sedan to his left with the blinker on, and so he slowed down to let the person make their exit. as the blue car driver made his way into the lane, he noticed that he had his hand up and his middle finger extended back towards him.

he sat down at his desk a few minutes early, and noticed that nobody had made coffee yet. not being a coffee drinker himself, he got up and walked over to the station and decided to give it a whirl and let other people have coffee right away as they came in from the cold. after the pot was done brewing, people started to shuffle in from outside and grabbing cups to fill with the morning brew. they didn't ask how it got there, or who made it. a few of the people made funny faces after taking a sip and throwing the cups away, complaining about the taste. some of them just took the coffee and walked away, going about their day as if the shit magically made itself.

after work, he got in his car and went to the supermarket. he noticed a homeless man outside and was asked for any spare change. he told the guy that he might be able to spare what he could after he bought something. he went inside and corralled some things in his basket and walked up to the only person working a register just as another person walked up as well. as the person ahead of them grabbed their bags and walked away, the woman next to him didn't look or say a word and proceeded to go next with the cashier. he bit his lip and allowed it.

he paid for his few items and received 37 cents change. he collected his bags and walked out the automatic exit doors to see the homeless man still waiting there with the hopes of some money. he put down his bags and dug into his pocket and gave him the 37 cents. the homeless man took the change and looked at it with disappointment and asked him for more. he told him that he couldn't do anything with 37 cents. he apologized and said that that was all he had to spare.

he went home and cooked his food. he watched tv alone. he did the dishes from dinner, took a shower, and walked into his bedroom. he put on his pajamas, set his alarm, and got into bed.

he sat in his bed with his eyes open in the dark. he shoved the sheets off of his body and got out of bed. he stammered over to his window and slid it open. he took a deep breath and yelled outside as loud as he could:

"YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME!!!"

a very real update...

2010-09-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

it's time to reflect. it's also time to give an update on my life. it's time to tell you where i am at and where i am going and what i have been doing. it's time to come clean.

i turned 31 years old yesterday. to be honest, i never really expected to live this long so far. it's true. i always thought that i would have crashed and burned in the urban oasis of boston back some years ago. like a cockroach, i survived the atomic strike on my life and came out the other end shaking the fallout from off my collar.

i stayed in new jersey for some time before coming to florida. i was a fool for coming, but i had to give it a shot. it was for a girl with eyes that pierced my heart and i wanted my soul to be near them. it wasn't to be, but i gave myself this idea that i would stay. to finish something that i started. being here for so long now, i don't know what i started. i tell people that i am going back to school. it's been three years.

right now, i am sitting in an apartment in bradenton, florida writing this to tell people that i have no idea what the hell happened. i mean, i know what took place, but it all happened so fast. one minute, i am moving into a new apartment in florida and then next minute, i am staring down the barrel of an eviction that is soon to take place because i don't have 200 dollars to my name. at 31.

this apartment is not much at all really, but it is a roof over my head. today i got into a screaming match with my landlord because she told me not to bother her with non-emergencies after 10pm. my electric went out in my apartment two nights ago and i text messaged her to ask her to hit the circuit breaker that was located in her closed garage. i didn't fall asleep in the florida heat that night until four in the morning.

i also complained to her that my dishwasher didn't work and that i didn't enjoy the two inch palmetto cockroaches that i would see climb up my wall, but that was in one ear and out the other i presume. she complained to me that i didn't have a job. i shouted back that it wasn't my plan to get a new apartment and lose my job two days after moving in. she told me that she didn't want to support me and that she specifically wanted someone that worked so that the a/c wouldn't run during the day.

it's not so much that it is a bad situation, but more that i know i am better than it. the one thing that i know is free is my breath. i will always have that. i have always thought that my words could never be taken away from me either, and they cannot, but my eyes are the only ones that have seen what i have seen and know what i have done.

when i wake up tomorrow, i am going to go to work. i'm going to help drive cars for my father. i remember when i was 17 and arrived in boston and felt the city and the potential. that was 14 years ago. i have more to give than this. maybe florida isn't the answer.

i mean do i really want to finish what i have started here?

the phillies recap 08/25/2010 - a loss...again

2010-08-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

the philadelphia phillies stepped onto the field tonight hoping to catch ground with the atlanta braves in the battle for the nl east. what ended up happening was another failed attempt at victory against a mediocre ball club with one of the best pitchers on the mound in our efforts. yes, the phillies offense had failed again as they lost 3-2.

after last nights debacle of a game, where the team only could muster two runs in 16 innings, the phillies hoped to bounce back with roy halladay on the mound against former phillie j.a. happ. it was not to be.

ryan howard was given the night off, although he did get a pinch hit single in the ninth, the team failed to drive him in from first with two outs. besides that, the lineup was intact and could not muster up any meaningful innings at the plate. this is becoming a problem.

it's not the pitching that is the issue here and maybe it's just a case of the lineup needing to settle down and play together more. the team has fielded it's projected opening day lineup only 10 times this year which is pretty amazing since they are so close to the atlanta braves in the chase for the top position.

i'm not saying that i am concerned just yet, but it is a small worry that i have when you play at home and in three games score less than ten runs against an okay squad. this right now is the phillies chance to reclaim the lead in the east with the braves getting swept by the rockies and to not take advantage of it could be a big reason when we look back later on as to why they are battling for a wild card spot and not cruising into the playoffs as division champs.

let's hope that tomorrow night brings a nice performance and we can move on from this because i can't even say that i'm angry just yet...just confused with it all. how can a team with this much firepower be so dead. i feel like when a man reaches first base, we hit a homerun. at the beginning of the year, i felt that even if we were five runs down, we would score six in the very next inning, and we usually did. now, i feel that being down one run is a dagger to the jugular.

i'm not seeing the spark. i'm not seeing the swagger. there is no confidence at the plate.

blame who you will, but a loss is a loss. the braves don't care how it's happening.

the return of the attack of the killer buicks

2010-08-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

i can't take it anymore. you may think that it happens everywhere and i'm being dramatic. you may think that i need to just calm down. i tell you to take heed at what i proclaim in the following paragraphs and prepare yourself for the possibility that one day you will encounter driving in florida. one day you will develop the hate that i do for the elderly and oldsmobiles, or the young and their lifted four-wheeling pickup trucks.

one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.

what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.

inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.

i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.

i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.

a story about a house

2010-08-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

i am a large house with many rooms and many places to sit. i have wide hallways and no carpets. i am an empty wall. white paint with bright lights. the kitchen is steel and appliances. the floor is tiled and cold. i've walked around this house for a long time.

it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.

some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.

some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.

a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.

i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.

i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.

we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.

one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.

i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...

"let's go exploring!"

she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.

a new spin on things

2010-08-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

there is this great calvin and hobbes comic that starts with calvin and hobbes both standing next to each other on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. calvin turns to hobbes and tells him to think about this block that they were on as their life. they look back at the first crack and calvin explains how that is the beginning of their lives and the crack in front of them is the end of their lives. everything that they do in between the two cracks is what makes up their lives and they better be proud of what they did because the end comes faster than you think.

the last panel shows the boy and tiger in the exact same spot, staring at their feet in total darkness.

i'm in the middle of my sidewalk and i have taken a moment to stop and tell you where i am at right now and the next step forward that i plan on taking. i have been told to remain positive, and that kind of reminds me of this thing that i read a couple weeks ago where the author said that even if you aren't feeling great, or things aren't going as they should, you should still act positive. they said that even putting on the facade of positivity will in turn bring positiveness to your life.

i don't know if i buy that. it kind of seems like being a little fake, or not letting people see how you truly feel, but i think i may be getting to the point where maybe people don't want to see someone who may be glum on certain days. i'm sure it's not a blast to be around somebody who isn't on their "A" game. things haven't been top notch yet either, so trying something new may be fun.

so...

i have been working at my job now for the past four months and it's been great! i have had a wonderful time struggling to learn this new job. every day that i go into work, i learn an exciting new challenging task while still doing things that i have been learning from previous days. my new job has taught me to even further develop my multi-tasking capabilities because i am given tasks by people who come up to my desk, by people that call me on the phone, by people who send me e-mails and through text messages! i think it's amazing the amount of work that i can get done everyday. i can see why i don't get a lunch break. who needs it anyway?

i am planning on moving into a new apartment in september. i love moving! the process of taking all of my things and packing them up into boxes to move isn't totally awesome, but it sure is something to do on a nice day outside. i have been dealing with some interesting potential landlords. i haven't met one yet that i have been completely comfortable with, but i know that it will happen soon enough. i may even be staying at the owner of my company's second house down the street from the office. that would be nice. 100 dollars a week with everything included will really give me a nice opportunity to be independent and to be able to save up some money. i am hoping that that goes through.

let's see, what else? oh yea, i am hoping that i can go to school next month. it would be nice to take some writing classes again. i think i am supposed to be here to write and i haven't done it to the capacity that i would have liked to up to this point, but that is all changing come september. the college isn't that far from anywhere that i am potentially going to live, so that's a good thing. i haven't taken a college class in about 10 years, but i know that i will do better than i did then! that was a mess back then! haha!

i met a girl that i like! she's definitely a breath of fresh air and although nothing is going on between us right now, i still am holding out hope for the future. she even knows it this time which is a plus and still seems to want to talk to me. i meet up with her and her friends a lot to play pool and hang out. it's been nice to actually hang out with people near my age group too. laughing has been great and i look forward to laughing more.

florida sure has been a challenge so far, but i feel that the next month could be a real page turner. i am ready to take another step forward on my sidewalk. hopefully, if i just do the right things and have the right outlook, i will be rewarded with all the right outcomes.

if not, my birthday is on the 15th of september. address to come...

a story about a tree

2010-08-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

the seed was put into the ground one day years ago and everyone waited for it to come out of the soil and reach for the sun. some days while they waited, it rained and other days it was sunny, but they all gathered around the plot of ground that would give new life to the earth. it would have growing pains, and it would have good times. it would bask in the rays of the sunrise, and it would sleep during the moonlit nights.

and the sprout grew out and said hello to the world. the crowd of people gathered around it and praised this new thing that had appeared before them. some held each other close, while others danced around it. all of the people that had waited for it were smiling and grateful that the little guy was okay.

you could tell from the early days that this tree had the potential to be one of the great ones. it dug it's roots deep and made it's branches grow with the power of a tree 3 times it's age. it all seemed so easy to the sapling, and the people who gathered around nodded with approval and praise.

during it's young life, the tree was hit by hard times when some that were around him became enraged with others that this plant had taken up so much time from the ones that they wanted to be with. they shunned him ultimately. they tried to discourage the growth by snapping at it's twigs and kicking away the dirt from it's base. the tree still tried to grow up properly, but it had started to become hardened by the meanness of others.

he couldn't run away from it either. it would get worse as he grew, and the tree was showing signs of the abuse that had come his way. he developed a disease on his trunk and it stunted his growth. the few that were left that hadn't abandoned this once promising tree tried with all their might to patch the wounds that had afflicted it, but they couldn't do enough. the tree looked down at those that were there for him and appreciated all the help, but things were just going to be more difficult from this point forward.

he wasn't going to be the giant, blossoming plant that people expected. he might not even end up being like the others that had grown past him in recent years. his roots were strong though and he knew that things could be alright if he could just fix himself and grow again.

sometimes, a few people come around to the tree and point at it and put fertilizer down at it's base and tell each other about how great this tree could have been. they pat down the soil and rub it's bark and wonder what could have been. he hears all of that and appreciates the thoughts, but knows that those are words of failure.

the tree stands still, but that gives it time to observe everything. it sees a lot of the people that were once here, are not now. he wants to prove them wrong. he wants to be accepted as a great thing again. the sun shines down on it still and the rain gives life to it's soul. this tree will be great again.

this tree is not done yet.

The Day That Was

2010-06-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

"I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."

- Invictus by William Ernest Henley

The daily grind of the everyday hustle and bustle, or even the dreadfully dull, can become redundant and tiresome. From a bird's eye view, we must appear to be ants among smaller ants. We run this way and that. We go to work and we come home from work. We eat at the same places for lunch. We all answer our phones at work the same way and we all try to do the jobs we are given in the hopes that we make our money to enjoy the weekends or the free time that we do have.

Through all of the hard work and living the lives we lead, we are given our breaks from stress. We are given time to leave it all behind. It can be spent with family and friends. It can be alone on a porch with a cold beer and the sounds of summer. It can reward you with clarity and direction. It can be a time for you to just breathe. It is the dessert of life.

And sometimes, it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top.

While mulling through some paperwork and dealing with the telephone this morning at work, I navigated my way to the United States versus Algeria soccer match at the World Cup. The anticipation for this match had strangled me right up until the opening kick and I was not to miss the event. I had the match on with no speaker volume in a little window on the corner of my computer and tried to check in every now and then.

The U.S. needed victory bad for many reasons. They needed to score one more goal than the desert foxes from Algeria to ensure a birth in the 16 team tournament that awaited the victor. A loss here would send the Americans packing up their bags to head home to a plethora of media badgering and ignorant folks who would just dog soccer again. A loss would have ended any real shot at the growth of soccer for a very long time.

As the game drew close to the finish, the score was still tied at 0-0 and I could feel myself deflate as a tie would do us no good. When an assistant referee posted four minutes of extra time, I could already hear the sports talk old-timers pointing their fingers and calling soccer a non-issue.

Then, in a blink of an eye, Landon Donovan caught a rebounded shot off goal and slammed home a goal that shattered the new century with the alarm of a new era. By this time, I had stopped all work, jumped out of my seat and cheered. My twitter feed erupted in a fury of nationalism that I had not seen in a very long time. The United States went on to win the game 1-0 and secured themselves in the tournament, playing Saturday against Ghana.

The whipped cream can go on top, thanks.

After the rest of the day at work and after watching Invictus, I put on the Phillies game against the Indians with the Phillies down a run. Chase Utley had just protected the one run deficit with a great double play in the top of the 9th as the Phils came up to bat. With Valdez on second base, Jimmy Rollins stepped to the plate. Hitless since coming back from an injury that had sidelined him most of the year he took the count to 1-1 as Kerry Wood drew in and delivered a meatball that Rollins delivered to the right field seats. That's right, the Phillies won in dramatic, walk-off fashion 7-6.

Days like this keep people going. Today is an amazing example of living life to enjoy life. It was a reason to deal with all the peripheral things that really don't matter in the end. Sport is an amazing thing that wraps your soul in intrigue and wonder. Some days are just better than others. Some days you just have to stand and applaud even if you are the only one in the room. Some days, sport applauds your efforts.

I think I'll have two cherries on top, please.

my day at the doctor's office

2010-03-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

so, i woke up today a little earlier than usual. i was up and at em at about 8 o'clock to get to my first real physical in over a decade at the doctor's office. to be honest, i really hate doctors or hospitals. i am not really sure why, maybe it is the old people. i left the house at about 8:40 and got to my appointment on time.

i was shuffled into the examination room and was told to sit down. i was given a blood pressure test and i was like 116/90. the 90 part was kind of high, but she said it was because i hadn't had a chance to rest. she checked my pulse, but didn't tell me what that was, so i assume i wasn't dead. then, she asked me some general questions about things and told me to take off all my clothes except my undershorts. undershorts? um, ok...

right around then, i thought it was funny that i wore boxer shorts today because it'd be hilarious to think as a doctor just wandering into a room with a fully nude man sitting on a communal chair with both socks on and wearing a watch. i sat there in my seat though, in my boxers, and awaited the doc.

she walked in and greeted me. she was nice and made me feel comfortable. i told her about how i had lost 20 pounds recently and she told me to keep it up and my blood pressure should get even better. now, if any of you really no me, you will know that i get freaking amazingly dry skin. especially where a unibrow would be and the sides of my nostrils. well, i haven't been to a doctor and told her about it. she said it was psoriasis. okay, that's not life threatening. i can deal with that. i even had a cream at home that i never thought to use on it because i thought it was eczema, but i didn't mention that at the time.

also, some of you may have seen this before or not with me, but i have had this problem with my hands and fingers for a long time. they shake upon movement. it is really annoying. i have been doing it since i was like 13. i remember back in the day, not being able to eat a real watery kind of soup because i would sometimes lose the contents on the spoon on the way to my mouth! even to this day, i sometimes have issues with placing small things or moving things. about a month ago, i took some change and put it in a pile between my pointer finger and thumb and when i went to give it to a cashier in a drive-thru, all the change started to shake in my fingers and then they splurged out onto the pavement between my car and window. so embarrassing.

i told the doctor about it and she performed this test on me where she held her finger out in front of me and told me to point my finger to my nose and then back to her finger with both hands. i was soooo off! shaking my way to the destination. it was ridiculous. she was like, "wow!" i don't think you want to hear your doctor say that.

after that, we got to the grand finale of male physicals: the hernia test. she told me to put my butt against the end of the exam table and stand up. she told me to drop trow. i did. then, she starts explaining to me all the things that she is going to check for and why and what she will be looking for. yo doc, i'm already naked! check my junk and let's get out of here. you can tell me procedure when we are done. damn. anyway, i'm all good down there too.

i kind of thought about what i would do if i was a doctor and had to look at male genitalia from time to time during these exams. i think it would be funny to bust out one of those back scratchers with the hand at the end to perform the test. also, if you had to give a rectal exam, i think i would get some laughs if i put on a coal miner's helmet first and turn on the light.

so after i put on my clothes, she came back in and sat down and told me the outcome of her exam. she stated that she was giving me a steroid cream for my dry skin. she warned me not to use it on my face though for a long time because it could develop spider veins. that'd be weird. i think i am gonna try my other cream first, or maybe i can use steroids and hit many homeruns in professional baseball!

then, she told me that she wanted me to see a specialist about my shaking. a neurologist to be more specific. she said that since it only has gotten a little worse over the last 17 years, she didn't think that i had...wait for it...a brain tumor or parkinson's, but she wanted to do a test to make sure! WTF?! she said that she thought it was what is called a familial tremor or something, but it was odd because you don't develop that so early in life. crazy. i'm not gonna get all worked up about it until i hear what it really is, but that's crazy.

so that was my trip to the doctor. i got a referral to see a brain doctor, some steroids, and my junk is fine.

talk to you soon.

A tale of two skippers

2010-02-15T19:28:00.000-08:00

Welcome, my friends, to year six. The train is set to depart in a couple days on another long season of comfort sounds. The balls are set to smack the back of a catcher's mitt and the sounds that crackle off the barrel of a wooden stick careening a baseball 350ft away into the roar of a crowd are soon at hand. Yes, my friends, it is year six that our train is set to depart and at the helm of the engine is our skipper, Charlie Manuel.

Expectations are high this year, but so has every year that Charlie has taken the reigns of the club. He comes into the season with a newly acquired pitching phenom that will surely bolster his rotation and he has reloaded the usual cast of offensive bullets in an attempt to shoot down the rivals of the division as he has in years past.

The ride hasn't been as smooth as one might remember it being though.

When Charlie took over after the 2004 season, he took the place of the recently let go Larry Bowa. Bowa was a charismatic leader of a team that wore his heart on his sleeve. You always new what you were feeling out of Bowa. He was never afraid to show his true feelings towards the umpires, the media, and even his own players. Bowa was a favorite among fans. He helped bring the Phillies back to the winning ways of the early 1980's by teaching a game of all out hustle and grit. The Phillies had a many losing seasons before Bowa grabbed the helm of the club and quickly brought the team to the bright side of baseball compiling 3 seasons out of 4 of winning baseball and even won a manager of the year award.

He lost his team though and couldn't quite get over the hump of making a deep run into the playoffs. He was fired, and I must say, I was not to pleased at the time.

Fans and the media did not take long to notice the difference between Bowa and Manuel. He tended to not speak out against his players and he didn't really offer up much of a reply for decisions made during games. He didn't seem to be quite comfortable sitting in at press conferences answering the questions and having the spotlight solely on him and the media ate it up. Teasing him about his mumbling answers and down home approach to the professional nature of the game, Howard Eskin and others started to mention him as Uncle Charlie. They would berate him in the newspapers and on the radio constantly, second guessing every call. I have to admit, I was among them with my friends. We would almost use our Foghorn Leghorn voice as Manuel's.

You know what seemed to happen though? He won. Charlie Manuel has never finished a season with less than 85 wins. He has gotten over 90 wins twice in five years. He has been voted by fans as the best manager in baseball on one occasion. He has the absolute backing of his players. He even has won over this writer.

A new season is upon us and I sat back today and wondered what would have happened if Larry Bowa had remained the coach of The Philadelphia Phillies all this time. You know what, I'm not sure. What I do know is that what has happened has happened. Results are results. We have our ring. We came damn close last year. Sometimes I think that coaching is overrated in sports and that if you have the talent, anybody can win sometimes.

Manuel reminded me though back in 2007 that he cared deeply for his team and his players when he finally confronted Mr. Eskin during a press conference. Eskin was really egging Charlie on about why he didn't get in his players' faces and pressed their buttons and try and motivate the players through pressure tactics. What Charlie did instead was defend himself and his team at the same time by telling Howard that he would gladly talk to him about it in his office anytime and actually had to be pulled out of the room.

That showed me what we had as a skipper. Fire. Determination. Passion. Leadership. I didn't realize it before then and I really believe the team has been a different one since that day.

Charlie Manuel is the coach of our Phillies. As fans we have trusted in him and he has given us all that we could have asked for. I am ready to ride the train again.

Welcome to year six. All aboard.

2010 Phillies

2010-01-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

What was your New Year resolution? We all know the drill. I'm gonna lose 40 pounds. I'm gonna make it rich. I'm gonna ask that girl out in the office. Whatever the goal was, few of us have pulled through on the big plans. We have hope.

The Philadelphia Phillies begin their new season this year with a new batch of members that they hope can get us over the hump this year. The Sound of Philly is here now to give you a rundown of the newest members of the team. Please hold your applause until the end of the lineup...

Roy Halladay - If you don't know who this man is, then you must have been out of the country for a while (and Canada), but we’d be glad to fill you in. Halladay has been the ace of the Toronto staff since about 2002. His record since 2002 has been 130-59 with an overall career E.R.A. of 3.43. Impressive stuff considering that he has been pitching in the more offensive American League. The Phillies may have had to give up a bunch of prospects, including pitching stud Kyle Drabek, and they had to depart with ace Cliff Lee in the blockbuster three team trade done this offseason, but the Phillies have stated that they are committed to winning during this golden window of opportunity that they have. The front office made a move that will ultimately save money (Cliff Lee is looking for Sabbathia money next year) and in return for making the move, they are getting arguably the best pitcher in baseball in the peak of his career who has not been injury plagued. Knock on wood.

Danys Baez - Welcome to a below .500 pitcher lifetime with a journeyman status. A defector from Cuba, Baez hopes to resurrect his career with the Phillies and give a much needed boost to the setup position now that Scott Eyre is gone.

Juan Castro - This 37 year old is out trying to prove that he has something left in the tank. Castro is a journeyman that we hope can give help to the bullpen in case one of our beloved starters has a bad game.

Placido Polanco - Polanco is a new third baseman for the Phils that will give a little umph to the bottom of the lineup. Last year, I know that some of us were a little frustrated with the way that the old third baseman showed up to the plate in the postseason. Fingers crossed again.

Jose Contreras - The 38 year old is ready to help out in anyway he can. Born in Cuba, like Baez, Contreras is going to play any role that the Phillies give him at pitcher. He can start, although he will most likely relieve, the team needs a healthy Contreras to make it through the season if the team looks to improve.

The Phillies have decided to make moves this postseason. All last year, we were screaming for a bullpen that we didn't have to worry about. Ultimately though when Lidge came into the game, we held our breath, which was uncharacteristic due to his performance in 2008. The Phillies lost over 10 games that they had the lead in going into the ninth inning last year.

The Phillies new additions this year included three bullpen pitchers. We gained a phenomenal starter in Halladay, and we picked up a good position player. The other three are pitchers that are hiding an inconvenient truth.

The truth is, is that the bullpen will be considered great if Brad Lidge gives us a great year. In the end, we are going to be giving the ball to the guy that our skipper has the most trust in. It reminds me of how we gut out every game with McNabb at quarterback because he is all that we have at that position right now for who can give us the best shot at winning.

Is Lidge the Phillies equivalent to McNabb? I wouldn’t say so. Lidge has a ring, but when meeting our new Phillies, I think that we can see the management trying to build a more solid support group around “The Weakness” in the hopes that a strong offense will carry him.

Nothing was done to fix the closer position, except a hope that Lidge will be better. In the end, we have what we had. Solutions to the problem may be that we need to make a deal for a new reliever at some point during the season. They say that once a closer loses it, it’s gone, but can the men in the front office make the business decision when the time is necessary for Mr. Lidge to have a seat or find another place to go? We shall see, but we may have to play the first few games before making any brash decisions.

And we have to hope that he pitches lights out.

Play Ball.

start your engines

2010-01-20T20:11:00.000-08:00

today, i turned on the computer to begin my journey. if i am to run for office here in sarasota, i need to start making some serious moves. as google came up on my screen, i sat wondering what to put as my search. i decided that i needed to speak to someone, but i didn't know who. so i did a search for the state of florida and obviously i was brought to stateofflorida.com. i clicked on contact us and came to a page with a bunch of links offering me different groups of phone lists that i could click and see. unfortunately, everything that i clicked on did not load, so i was back to the drawing board. in the back of my head i made a mental note that when i had the power to do so, i would fix that webpage.

after a moment of perplexion, i decided that if i was going to do this, i would start with the most basic question. i typed into the computer: how to run for office. i pressed enter.

the first link that i saw was for a website that was called runforoffice.org. jackpot! i went to the page and filled out some basic information and was able to see what was available for me to run for this november. they included: governor, state senator, state representative, lieutenant governor, attorney general, commisioner of agriculture, chief financial officer, state attorney, justice of the supreme court, circuit court judge, and school board member.

a couple of these i threw out right away since i haven't passed the bar exam. i was left with governor, state senator, state representative, commisioner of agriculture, chief financial officer, and school board member. i then realized that i am going to be doing this locally so i could throw out governor and state senator since i wouldn't be able to campaign all over the state.

even though originally i am from the garden state of new jersey, i know absolutely nothing about agriculture except what old macdonald had on his farm, so i dropped that effort and seeing how i am not skilled in the art of bookkeeping, i stopped considering chief financial officer. i was left with two choices: state representative and school board member.

i had a decision to make. i had to figure out if i was going to go for it really, or was i just going to keep it extremely local. a school board member is admirable because you can shift the lives of tomorrow's leaders by making good decisions, but i just don't see myself being taken seriously by parents since i don't have children myself, or ever even attended the schools in florida as a youth. i think i can do better with getting a younger vote by just going for the gusto and trying to become a state representative. so that is what i chose.

what are the requirements was my next question. well, i saw that right off the bat i had to be 21. check. then it said that i have to have been a resident of the state for 2 years prior to the election. check.

the next two were tricky. i have to pay as a filing fee 6% of my annual salary to the state to declare that i am running and i have to receive the certified signatures of 1% of the registered votes in the state. now, i am not sure if that means in my district that i am running, so i have to find that out. the filing fee is going to be a tough task. i might need to see when the deadline is to pay that fee, but seeing how i don't have a high paying job at the moment, that fee could be minimal. also, it says that if i don't get all those signatures i might be able to pay a qualifying fee. i need to see how many people exactly would have to sign and how i certify them.

hey, i am on my way!

while perusing the internet, i went to craigslist to check out some part-time jobs because my dad was saying that he would help with some classes in september if i got one on the weekends or something. i stumbled across the u.s. census bureau and decided to click on what they were hiring for.

i called up the number and a woman named nancy answered and told me that they were looking for help going door to door this year to help calculate the actual census. cool, i thought. she asked if i was interested and i said that i definitely was, so she told me that tomorrow morning there was going to be a test administered at an office building near where i live. it is a two hour test on who knows what, but she gave me the link to a practice exam that i am about to tackle. she said that if i do well on that then in late february i could be hired to do the job!

i thanked nancy and closed the laptop. it was a productive morning. i bundled up my things, i grabbed my lunch from the refridgerator, and i drove myself to work. let's see what tomorrow brings.

my new year's project

2010-01-06T19:41:00.000-08:00

well, it's the new year. last year wasn't the greatest year for many reasons, but i don't want to delve too much into that, and by not too much i mean at all. so, with that being said, i would like to jump straight into this fresh new year feet first. i'm not holding my nose first either because it's not cool.

i haven't posted much recently because i had been on a rollercoaster of a vacation. i went back home to visit family in new jersey. it was a blast, but it was a lot of late nights and a lot of driving around. that was cool and all, but it definitely was not like a corona commercial. living in florida is kind of funny. most people in new jersey would take a vacation in florida to get away. i got away from florida by going to new jersey. it was perfect.

before my trip, i thought of something that may be fun and interesting for me to do this year. fun for the reader and fun for me to try. something that will keep my attention and, hopefully, help the community. i'm going to run for a public office position.

yup. this year is a voting year and the elections come up in november. i better get a move on it. i need to do a bunch of things here in these first couple of weeks. i need to see what kind of seats are up for election and what my eligibility would have to be to secure a place in the debate. i need to find out where to debate!

i know what you may be thinking now and that's, "oh, that's just mike being mike." nope. i am serious. i talk all the time about what i would do or what i think is wrong with the world. well, i'm here now to do something about it. it is as grassroots as it can get. i have to do this with as little personal money as possible and i have to get the word out to start with just my sole voice. i think i can win. win what? i don't know yet, but i will, and you can follow my adventure here with me, on twitter, or on facebook as i make my way through the trials and tribulations of what it takes for the average everyday american with little social standing to become a voice for the people.

also, i think at some point, i may need to get married because from what i have seen there aren't too many single politicians and i'm going to need to get the senior vote by showing everyday family values. i am in florida, you know. i will have to deal with later down the line if my campaign gains momentum, which it will.

so, first things first will be to see what kind of seats are going to be open this fall when the public casts its' vote for who they want and think is right for the job. let me be the first to tell you florida that i am here to do your work and i will not stop campaigning to win your trust! except at first i can't really campaign monday through friday from 12-7pm because i have to work. you see, i truly am the everyday man looking to make a difference. i will have to take on this task at first by working hard in the mornings and getting the word out on the weekends to take down my opponent, whoever he or she may be.

i'm ready to make that splash. join me in the pool. the pool of democracy. where everyone is invited in and it's only an adult swim! splash!!!

www.facebook.com/hendrimike
www.twitter.com/judenewcomb

my vision

2009-12-21T20:03:00.000-08:00

the health care reform bill is set to be voted on by the senate on christmas eve. this bill has been on a wild ride since the wheels of reform started to move back in march. the plan was simple. americans needed more affordable health care. they needed a better preventative program of screening for illnesses and they needed to have better access to being insured.

a couple of plans were on the table to try and reach these goals. one way was to create a single payer system where everyone's money was to be pooled into one government program allowing access for everyone to have any procedure done for no cost except for the money taken out initially from taxes. the second plan was a more toned down approach of a single payer option which basically would be having a government plan available, but as a competitor to insurance companies in an effort to keep the rates of these businesses fair. the idea was that if the government offered a lower rate, then big business would have to lower their rates for fear of a majority of americans jumping ship to the government plan. a plan that was introduced later on in the debate was a plan to lower the age a person could buy into medicare from 65 to 55 and doing away with the public option.

three ideas that could signal change for millions. right?

as the summer drove on and the debate for health care grew some interesting things started to happen. in town halls across america, "grassroot" efforts were being grown by the republican party and funded by insurance companies to engage politicians who were speaking to disrupt any serious debate being held on the issue. the president was being compared to hitler and the death of ted kennedy was being mocked by the far right. the president and democrats still wanted to try and negotiate a bipartisan outcome with the republicans in an effort of solidarity of getting things done.

the single payer system was almost thrown out immediately as it was lauded as being too much government control over an industry. the public option, at one point looked as though it would have the votes to pass, was then suddenly rejected by joseph lieberman and a couple other senators after it passed the house version of the bill. while still looking for a way to include republican ideas, the senate democrats tried the third option, which was initially sen. lieberman's plan when he ran as vice president in 2004 with al gore, and lower the age of medicare. guess who decided he was adamently opposed to it? you guessed it right. joe lieberman. how can one man who proposed a change in the system with a plan one day adamantly oppose the same thing a few years later?

if you aren't too involved in the process you may say, "well, why is that important? he's just one guy." you see, the democrats hold a 60 - 40 vote majority in the senate. when you pass something with 60 votes, the minority has no way of filibustering a vote, which is to talk and talk and talk and talk about a bill for infinite until the bill dies. joe lieberman was the 60th vote along with bob nelson of nebraska.

what is left is a bill with no public option, no single payer, and no age cut for medicare. it does cut out being denied for pre-existing conditions and a couple other things, but it demands that if you do not have health insurance, you must get it now, like auto insurance, or be fined. i would have no problem with this mandate if a public option was their as competition to the big business insurance companies.

my problem is that politicians have been bought. which leads me to a point.

back when the country was being formed, americans lived in a very different time. their were no televisions, radio wouldn't be used for over a century later, telephones didn't exist. in fact, electricity was just discovered a few decades earlier. america is an enormous piece of real estate and in the non-technological age of the late 18th century, it was even bigger with a tremendous challenge for people to communicate.

this was one of the reasons for america to create congress. people were chosen by americans in certain sections of all the states to pack their bags and go to washington, d.c. and represent the people that voted to elect them. the politicians were the voice of those that had no other way of getting their voice heard. the people needed to have the liaison of this representative with the president because word could be spread easier this way of what the people wanted. it still was a system with flaws, but it was the best that we could do.

during the health care debate, polls routinely had shown that over 60% of all americans were in favor of having a health care reform bill that included a public option and yet it was taken out of the bill. thus, the health care reform bill is now disapproved upon by the majority. the new bill that is being offered is not what the people see as a good enough change in the way that people see fit. it is because campaign contributions to the representatives of the people are more important to the representatives and reelection than what the people actually want.

and that is why i say that there is no more need for congress. it is obsolete. big business cannot control america if it has to buyout all of america. it can deal with a bunch of men and women in a room that pass the laws, but it cannot afford to buy 300 million voices.

america votes once a year in november. in today's times, that doesn't have to be anymore. with the internet, tv, and the telephone we all can have immediate impacts on the way that america can be shaped and it is not being utilized to it's full potential. the capacity of congress can be greatly diminished if we just allow the representatives to introduce bills and legislation, but ultimately give the vote of approval to americans. through computer votes, phone votes, and telephone votes the popular vote can finally win what we want and not be forced to take something that a group of a few deem is good enough for us.

i envision a family coming home from work one day and going to the computer and reading over some bills that are being offered for the day. they can have town meetings to discuss it, hear debates about it from the media, or just talk with the family about it. they can decide for themselves what they feel would be good for them and vote on it one way or the other. people have lost their faith in congress because it doesn't do what they want. when 60% of americans want something and they don't get it, it's easy to see why people don't feel that their vote counts. it's esay to see how they lose faith in washington.

their are many different ways that this plan could be implemented, and i know that the likelihood of it occurring are slim, but it should happen. our lives should not be controlled by corporations and lobbyists. people that we never see shouldn't be deciding what we want. allowing everyone to vote on important legislation all the time would be a true democracy by the people, for the people. having one man in connecticut, or one man in nebraska take away what the majority of america wants because their pockets are being stuffed with money is not.

democracy is the vote of every american counting towards everything, and not who gets rich and powerful.

remember the green

2009-12-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

in july, i had already known about the twitter website. it was a site where you could post what you were up to for all the world to see in little blurbs of 140 characters or less. along with chatting with friends, you could post links to youtube clips, other twitter pages, and to various news articles from around the world. i did not use twitter really. i had an account, but it did not grasp my attention at the time since i was using facebook and felt that i could do all i could do on twitter there plus so much more.

i was wrong.

during the run up to the iranian elections in may, a movement was taking place. you've most likely heard about grassroots efforts here in america during the health care reform debates and tea party demonstrations. most of these "movements" have had the backing from large corporations and political parties trying to push agendas. in iran, we witnessed a true step toward revolution.

iran holds it's elections in june. i'm sure you remember it. in the weeks leading up to the election a sense of change seemed to be in the air. former prime minister of iran mir-hossain mousavi was, along with others, challenging the incumbent president mahmoud ahmadinejad on a more liberal platform. the set of values that mousavi brought to the table was one that would bring more liberties to women and the public in general. to be honest, the country wasn't about to be turned into las vegas, but a shakeup in everyday life restrictions was being tested. the status quo was being questioned, and the youth, the women in particular, began to take notice at the possibilities.

a lot of iran had become fed up with the oppressiveness. being told what to wear, what to read, what to say, and where you could be at a certain time. they lived in a country with high inflation, 12 percent inflation rates, and 1 in 5 iranians lived below the poverty line. they were also tired of knowing the fact that if they were to speak out about the conditions and blame it on the government they could be jailed for crimes against god. you see, iran is an islamic country. the leader, even above the president, is a man whose title is the supreme leader. the supreme leader is said to have the final word because his word is the word of god. you don't want to speak out against the word of god, do you?

mousavi was seen as a man that could bring about change. any change would be significant as a means toward a better way of living. not as much fear. the ability for all to vote freely in fair elections and lifting a ban on only government run television and media. the public started to see a light. they waited for the day to vote.

needless to say, we know what happened. the iranian media declared that ahmadinejad the winner by a larger than life margin. the ruling was questioned by many foreign governments and transparency was demanded to be made. it was not. the supreme leader commended the democratic system while the people of iran exploded into the streets in a show of protest not seen since their revolution in 1979. men and women took the street wearing the colors of the mousavi campaign of bright green as they raised their hands in the victory sign. in america, we now recognize it as the peace sign. the citizens of iran got anything but that.

the basij, the governments militia that patrols the streets in search of those that speak out against the country, took action on the protesters. they rode on motorcycles with bats and beat men and women into bloody pulps to make examples on what could happen to you if you were to speak out. other basij members shot in cold blood those that tested the government. the foreign media was deported from the country to handle the problems in-house with no one to witness.

one woman, Neda, became a face for the movement as she was shot in a crowd of protesters and her death was caught on cell phone and posted on youtube for the world to see. this is when i was brought to the attention of the power of a people united in a goal and the power of certain technological advances like twitter and youtube. i read that many protesters were using twitter to get out the stories of the day. the fallen, the violent reactions to their peaceful demonstrations and the sights and sounds that could be heard on the streets were all being posted on twitter. i became intrigued and began to follow some iranians. here are some of what a few of them had to say. all of these posted have been confirmed from inside iran.

from persiankiwi

they pull away the dead into trucks - like factory - no human can do this - we beg Allah for save us - #Iranelection 10:23 AM Jun 24th from web

phone line was cut and we lost internet - #Iranelection - getting more difficult to log into net - #Iranelection 10:05 AM Jun 24th from web

saw 7/8 militia beating one woman with baton on ground - she had no defense nothing - #Iranelection sure that she is dead 8:55 AM Jun 24th from web

from iranianstudent

I'm only posting this to say I'm still alive & not in Tehran, I had a bad incident with Basij and couldn't use computer 4:42 AM Jun 25th from web

both of these bloggers went inactive on the site shortly after this and are either presumed dead or in prison for acting out against the government. many attempts have been made to find out from the iranian government, to no avail.

one of the final tweets that iranianstudent left was this: why BBC & CNN reporting things like it's all over now? how can it be over after what gov done to us? 6:24 PM Jun 28th. and i couldn't agree more. you may have thought that the crisis has been over. that the country has subsided back into it's old ways. the farthest thing from that has happened. the country is still in chaos. protests have begun to break out again with demonstrators chanting, "death to the dictator!" in the streets. they are still fighting with the basij and people are still being arrested, beaten, and killed, and the foreign media has gone mostly silent.

a few hours ago, it was reported that mousavi may be arrested by the basij for crimes against the government and was almost arrested going to his office, but managed not to be. the media and the citizens outside iran must not let this story rest. the people of iran need us to pressure the government of iran to let the true outcome of the election be known. you can do so, just by being cognizant of the actions of the people. not all the people of the middle east want to destroy america. many want the freedoms we enjoy and are struggling to have them.

i am tired of the media in this country and it's 24 hours news cycle. when people are dying should we really give a shit about tiger woods? this is a country that we are at ends with and we have abandoned the people that are trying to possibly change how those relationships are. the media must stick with stories until they are complete. not doing so will just glorify the effort and deny the tragedy of the fallen who are asking for help.

the people of iran just want the story to remain a focus. i pray for them and i won't forget their struggle. we are a very lucky people to see such bravery.

Barbara's Bloody Footprints from It's From the Sky

2009-12-03T20:49:00.000-08:00

the story begins in 1950's or maybe 1960's america. a traveling salesman on his way to the next opportunity to earning that steak dinner. banging on a door, nobody comes to answer, but he hears the sounds of a woman singing. concerned, he opens the door and walks inside. turning the corner, he sees Barbara on the floor bleeding thru her dress and singing her prom night song. the salesman takes off his shirt and tries to contain the blood, but can tell that this girl is gonna die. he jumps in his car and takes off down the road. and thus, we are given the story of Barbara's Bloody Footprints, the new album from the Boston based band It's From the Sky. this 50's comic noir concept album hits all the right spots on it's way through a journey of ghosts, police, high school and a man on the run for a crime he didn't commit.

playing around with the idea of a poltergeist haunting the lives of people in a rollerskating rink, the band decided to take the idea a step further and create a full length album based on a girl who was murdered in a small town and the reaction her classmates have and the detective who is determined to find the man who did this horrible thing. talking over the album with bandmate Christopher O'Keeffe, i was intrigued to learn that the songs all were made as more of an "excavation of a story" and that they weren't merely creating a story, but telling the true story of a forgotten girl and her life.

It's From the Sky came out with their first EP in 2008. calling in favors and recording really wherever they could find the time and space to do so, they created that first effort with mostly some guitars and drums. the new album is such a dedication to a process of fulfilling the truthful telling of the story that the group devised a plan of using one large piece of parchment to notate the path of Barbara. they spent careful time, and it shows, interweaving various lines of various songs and allowing each word to have careful meaning to the story, whether it be straightforward, or thought-provoking.

and the work is evident. what the boys have accomplished is an archaeological dig on some great influences from indie kings such as lou barlow, pavement and the pixies while incorporating some pieces of rock superstars like r.e.m. and the smashing pumpkins. taking these influences into account you really are taken on a ride that is all their own. while listening to the album you get some tracks that run together seamless from one to another as witnessed on Class President and Bloody Footprints. quality songwriting and harmonies prevail as the aforementioned O'Keefe and David Lee provide fast paced vocals that keep the listener involved in what will happen next. a standout for me as well is the drumwork displayed by Chad Dravk especially on the first track Stranger's Blood which grabs you and makes you notice.

listening to this album, i thought of something that i hadn't thought of in awhile. that was that i hadn't listened to a full album straight through in a long time until i let this one go in my player. in the age of the ipod and one hit wonders, it felt real nice to give myself to an album from beginning to end and not wanting to skip ahead, or to start my playlists with a mixture of bands on them. if anything, i wanted to press repeat. i pressed play and i was in. from beginning to end. great songs with great hooks. smooth guitar playing with dynamite lyrics. i urge you to listen to this album and discover the tale of a girl with an untimely end.

Barbara's Bloody Footprints
by It's From the Sky
www.itsfromthesky.com

get snippets of the album here:
http://www.digstation.com/AlbumDetails.aspx?albumID=ALB000037537

a pimple on the bum

2009-12-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

recently, and by that i mean a couple hours ago, i found myself in the throws of a debate. and i couldn't believe my ears at some of the things that i heard being said. it all basically boiled down to two things. one, i was given the statement that president obama could not even be a pimple on the behind of president george w. bush and what he accomplished. two, i was given the opportunity to explain what things president obama has done so far in office.

let me address the first statement. president george w. bush was a complete train wreck. here's why with nothing but fact for you to digest. bush allowed the largest attack on american soil since pearl harbor to happen on september 11th, 2001. during the time the planes were being used as missiles in various parts of the country, our president was in a school reading a book to children. when he was told that in fact a second plane had hit the other trade center building and that the country was under attack this great, fearless leader waited another 8 to 9 minutes as he continued to read some damn children's book. real strong.

after the attacks, the president proceeded to invade afghanistan pledging to smoke out osama bin laden and other terrorists even calling upon the capture of bin laden 'dead or alive'. this was all what was done in public. behind the scenes the president, the vice president dick cheney, and the secretary of defense donald rumsfeld were already making the unimaginable acts of september 11th as an opportunity to complete the job of ousting saddam hussein in iraq that was started in 1991 during the first gulf war. this is not hearsay.

George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld speak in private. Bush asks the Defense Secretary what kind of plan the Pentagon has for invading Iraq. “What have you got in terms of plans for Iraq? What is the status of the war plan? I want you to get on it. I want you to keep it secret,” Bush says. When Rumsfeld says its current plan is outdated, Bush instructs him to devise a new one. “Let’s get started on this,” Bush says. “And get Tommy Franks looking at what it would take to protect America by removing Saddam Hussein if we have to.” Bush requests that discussion about Iraq remain low-key. “I knew what would happen if people thought we were developing a potential war plan for Iraq,” Bush later explains to journalist Bob Woodward. Bush does not share the details of his conversation with Condoleezza Rice, only telling her that Rumsfeld will be working on Iraq. [Associated Press, 4/16/2004; New York Times, 4/17/2004; Washington Post, 4/17/2004; CBS News, 4/18/2004 Sources: George Bush and other top officials interviewed by Washington Post editor Bob Woodward] When General Tommy Franks—who already has his hands full with the operation in Afghanistan—learns that the administration is considering plans to invade Iraq, he utters “a string of obscenities.” [Associated Press, 4/16/2004 Sources: Top officials interviewed by Washington Post editor Bob Woodward] General Franks will meet with Bush and brief him on the plan’s progress on December 28 (see December 28, 2001).

this war in iraq though was never about protecting americans. it was about claiming land that was rich in oil. it was about being involved in the war profiteering that comes with the dismantling and rebuilding of a country. it was about profiteering from the use of private mercenary groups like blackwater. scores of bush administration officials have absolutely made fortunes from their war to 'protect americans'. this war was about president bush completing the job his father never got the chance to do because they left the country in shambles back in the early 90's. then, they left a country that was ready to revolt against the tyrannical leader, but were left to fend for themselves and deal with the response from saddam as we abandoned them.

president bush and his administration used faulty accusations as the reasonings behind why we should invade a country like iraq. he stated that the country was planning on attacking the united states at that they were an immediate threat to our security because they had 'weapons of mass destruction' and had indisputable ties to al-qaeda. we know now that both of these points were false. to this day we have not found one WMD in iraq. not one. also, since then, it has even been admitted by bush administration officials that their was no link between the attacks of semptember 11th and al-qaeda to the government of iraq.

so why did we go? you may say to rid a country of an evil dictator. come on. if that was the case wouldn't president bush make that one of his campaign promises for his platform of what he believed in when he was running for president? if the president was so worried about another country's well-being, then why did he ignore the genocide that occurred in Darfur? why did he not step in with military force and stop mass murder in this country or in others that have powerful dictatorships? no, no, he picked the exact same country that his dad went to war against with in 1991. to protect americans.

the number of fatalities from the iraq war is staggering. 4,367 american soldiers alone have been fatally wounded. that is approaching twice that of those who perished during the attacks on america on 9/11. this war that blossomed out of what turned out to be falsities is responsible for 4,367 deaths. meanwhile, the war in afghanistan was largely overlooked and always looked at as the other war. the other war holds the people responsible for our war on terror. the other war has cost americans 929 dead sons and daughters. would the number had been less if we did not lose our focus from the get-go? would american have less than 5,000 dead now if our president had not started planning for a war in iraq two months after al-qaeda attacked american targets from nowhere near iraq?

**********

the president and vice president have allowed for easier restrictions that allowed interrogators to torture prisoners. it has been shown in endless studies that torture is not an effective means to get answers from the enemy. the bush administration had also set up the prison system where nobody is granted a trial for their accusations of being a terrorist. for years and years these humans have been wasting away inside the prison at guantanamo bay in cuba. they have been denied a basic right that is bestowed upon people in the united states and that is a fair trial with representation with a judgment made by fellow citizens.

the second question posed to me was what has president obama done so far that has been good. the way this question was asked of me made me think long and hard. a talking point that i was given tonight was that the bush administration was over now and what has president obama done? it almost sounded to me like sweeping a little bit of dirt under the rug and move on to the next task. no, we don't have a rug that is that big to sweep the dirt under. the past administration is still with us and we have a current administration that is in the throws of fixing a lot of wrong. and it's only been 10 months. i have come to the following question: what did you expect from our president 10 months later? although we live in a grand technological age, the world does not rotate any faster because of it. it takes time to build a nation that has fallen from grace. rebuilding the way we appear to the world and to ourselves takes time. shedding our skin of this holier than thou approach is necessary. now is not the time for america to remain arrogant. their is a reason other countries hated our last regime. wake up.

i was given the argument over the large deficits incorporated over the bank bailouts and how poor of a thing this was by president obama. this is an excerpt from nbc.com dated october, 1 2008, 4 months before the president took office:

The Senate passed its version of a mammoth plan to rescue the financial services industry Wednesday night, saying changes designed to protect individual investors and small business owners could be enough to persuade reluctant House members to go along with the plan.

Senators agreed to the plan 74-25 as an amendment to an unrelated bill, which was passed shortly thereafter.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, who put together the original scheme to bail out the banks after Lehman Bros. and other financial institutions collapsed on Wall Street last month, welcomed the “strong bipartisan vote.”

this bailout was signed into effect later by president george w. bush.

president obama has order the closing of guantanamo bay and moving towards the trials of suspected terrorists giving potentially the most evil men in the world their day in court and allowing us the stance of not dipping to the levels of others. president obama has started the withdrawal effort in iraq and is now focusing the attention of our eyes back to where it should have been from the start, but a terrible tragedy was seen as an opportunity to take action in other arenas. the president has allowed the research to finally start with stem cell research. i am sure that michael j. fox and muhammed ali have really enjoyed the last 8 years of wasted time when it has shown that all of these embryos never would have been used in a reproductive manner anyway. again, do some research people.

and this leads me to my final point. i was told that i am one-sided and that i was not rounded. i find this to be so far from the truth it is laughable. i spend my late nights reading up on the world. on the way to work, i listen to national public radio. on the way home, i listen to conservative talk format. i read the newspapers online, probably more so than my boss would like me to, and i watch as much news on the internet and tv as i can. what i can't watch is fox news because it has been proven that the entire network has talking points e-mailed everday from the executives with what points they would like to hammer down the throats of their listeners and watchers everyday. that is not news. it is a view. again, this has been proven.

i do research. i am rounded. when my beliefs are related to not even being as that of a pimple on the ass of a president that i despise, that offends me. it offends me that my idea of what is right is not even seen to be in the same region of a man responsible for the murder of thousands ON september 11th (remember when he disregarded the report about osama bin laden intent on using planes to attack america?), and the thousands that have been killed in two long, and costly wars. one, that never should have happened, and another that has gone on for too long. when i spend most of my time trying to be well-informed, i don't need that kind of throw away indecency. sometimes, i think that i read too much and maybe i should be like most that just don't even care, but then, i wouldn't know when i hear bullshit.

so...what's goin' on?!

2009-11-18T16:36:00.000-08:00

so, i am sitting here getting ready to watch a movie. i am going to watch pelham 1, 2, 3. i kind of want to see it and since i am here at my aunt and uncle's place and they are going to watch it, i figure that i will jump in while i do a load of laundry.

my father is coming in from new jersey tonite. he is flying here so that he can spend time with us for thanksgiving, although he is leaving thursday afternoon due to cheaper airline ticket prices. it should be fun and i plan on playing some golf with him and my uncle on the weekend which is always a bonus. the temperatures down here are still in the mid to upper seventies!

i have been really busy this week. my work schedule is pretty rough. i wake up at 5:45am to get into work at 7am and i work until 5pm. then, i drive home where i man the on-call phone from 5pm until 7am! ridiculous!! it's weird working while i am commuting to and from work. what really pisses me off is getting prank called at midnite or later when i try and do the responsible thing and get to bed on time. the other nite some joker called me just to tell me that he had used us before...at 11:55pm while intoxicated. i hung up on him and went back to bed for 5 hours.

before i have been falling asleep, i have been enjoying this book called "the first patient". it is a medical thriller about this guy who becomes the presidential doctor due to the previous one going missing, but...is he REALLY missing??? dunh-dunh-dunnnnnnnhhh!!! it's a real page turner and it is authored by a guy named michael palmer. check it out if you like to read, which if you are reading this i assume you do.

a couple of other things coming on the near horizon that i am excited about. doing an interview tomorrow with the singer of the band It's From the Sky. his name is chris o'keeffe. they are a great band out of boston who have just released an album called Barbara's Bloody Footprints. this is a concept album and i can't wait to chat with chris about the process of making the album and the different tracks. i don't want to give more away other than that, so stay tuned!

the other thing is that i don't think that i am going to be posting to much, if at all, on facebook anymore. i feel like i flooded the page with a lot of me which isn't really cool. i think i can get out all i need to say here. i am still going to be available and will be online there still, but just for e-mailing and chat if you want. so that is that.

until next time, you can follow me on twitter at www.twitter.com/judenewcomb or you can read my blogs here or you can chat me up at www.facebook.com/hendrimike.

a big shout out to my friends sean and nikki who will be expecting their second kid, a girl, any day now. good luck, guys.

until the next episode...

every pitch, i can hit

2009-11-11T13:59:00.001-08:00

it's been a week and some days since i last posted my first post. what the hell happened here? it's not that there have been zero things to talk about. actually, that couldn't be further from the truth.

the health care reform bill passed by a slim margin in the house sparking even more debate about the issue. the execution of thirteen of our brothers and sisters in the tragedy of ft. hood occurred. kareem abdul-jabbar came out to the public that he is battling leukemia.

and in less serious news, the eagles lost to the cowboys (while my fantasy team is at an exciting 7-2). i have received more hours at work which is nice and i have reached my 90th day here, so i have become eligible for benefits.

none of this has really sparked my interest to connect with the readers though.

i was on facebook today and i noticed at the bottom of the page they had a link for careers. i clicked wondering what could facebook possibly make available online for everyone to see.

they had every job posted it seemed. they had them in london, dublin, sydney, new york, palo alto. you name it, they had it. and, all kinds of jobs to boot. from account managers to software engineers to people who speak arabic, or french were all being asked to apply. i was pretty taken back at the openness of this huge conglomerate, so i clicked on a few of the links to jobs.

then, it hit me. with all of these jobs around the world that people were being called upon, the minimum requirements read like a list of you are not good enoughs. phd required. 8 years experience required. BS required. 4-6 years in such and such situation required.

it was depressing. here i am at 30 years old. i have experience in a field that i really don't want to do for the rest of my life. i do not have my degree and still have about two years to go to complete one.

sometimes, i just don't feel like i am prime material for the job market. i feel like i can do any job that is presented to me though, and just given an opportunity to showcase my skills and smarts, i can make anyone a believer. just because i went through some tough times as a kid in college and didn't finish, that does not determine who i am, or even who i was then.

i am friendly and intelligent. i have myself to give. i can learn anything you throw at me. not meeting requirements just to apply is a joke. i can outwork and perform better than most of the people with those degrees, but because of a lack of a piece of paper, i can't even get my foot in the door to prove myself.

i need someone to take a chance on me, so that i can show to them, that every person has led a life. my life has led me to this, and i am better for it. let me show you what i have learned in these years of mine.

salutations

2009-11-05T20:30:00.000-08:00

i have decided to make a blog. here are a couple things that you may like to know about me to begin. i live in the tampa bay area. st. petersburg to be exact. i am thirty. i'm male.

alright,

what i would like to do with this space here is have a chance to wander off the pages of facebook (and myspace and twitter and message boards and youtube) to reflect on how i feel about the life and the world with me inside it. this space here i welcome you to. i welcome your feedback and your views. in the course of the coming months or however long i come back to post, i may make you laugh. i may make you freaking angry. i may offend you. i really don't care about that. i just hope that i can get my point across and that it is appreciated. i do not claim right off the bat to be unbiased. that would bore me to walk the line.

i have come to a crossroads. i need to be myself completely and without apology. for so long, i have felt the need to self-censor myself right before, and i mean literally a split-second before i choose the words i am about to utter. i would say that about 50 percent of the time, i tend to smooth out what i will say. maybe that makes some sense for social situations where you don't want to throw-up on a foreign dignitary like the first george bush, but it really does me no good here. if you are not liking what i say, then move on.

but know this: this will not be about just views on one thing like politics. it will have self-analysis of life. ideas about the world. a cheap shot towards the dallas cowboys. my favorite food creations. music, friends, drinks, the south, money, women, douchebags, whatever. it will not have a central theme except variety itself. i may come back to an idea you find funny every once in awhile and explore it. i may type about one thing once and never revisit it again.

i think what may end up happening is that you will see that a lot goes on in the head of a thirty year old guy who still has yet to really begin his life. it's a diary of what's to be with what has just occurred. i am going to be honest. completely. it has to be since i am writing this to myself.

take a walk with me. who knows what lies ahead.