i can't take it anymore. you may think that it happens everywhere and i'm being dramatic. you may think that i need to just calm down. i tell you to take heed at what i proclaim in the following paragraphs and prepare yourself for the possibility that one day you will encounter driving in florida. one day you will develop the hate that i do for the elderly and oldsmobiles, or the young and their lifted four-wheeling pickup trucks.
one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.
what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.
inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.
i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.
i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
a story about a house
i am a large house with many rooms and many places to sit. i have wide hallways and no carpets. i am an empty wall. white paint with bright lights. the kitchen is steel and appliances. the floor is tiled and cold. i've walked around this house for a long time.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
a new spin on things
there is this great calvin and hobbes comic that starts with calvin and hobbes both standing next to each other on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. calvin turns to hobbes and tells him to think about this block that they were on as their life. they look back at the first crack and calvin explains how that is the beginning of their lives and the crack in front of them is the end of their lives. everything that they do in between the two cracks is what makes up their lives and they better be proud of what they did because the end comes faster than you think.
the last panel shows the boy and tiger in the exact same spot, staring at their feet in total darkness.
i'm in the middle of my sidewalk and i have taken a moment to stop and tell you where i am at right now and the next step forward that i plan on taking. i have been told to remain positive, and that kind of reminds me of this thing that i read a couple weeks ago where the author said that even if you aren't feeling great, or things aren't going as they should, you should still act positive. they said that even putting on the facade of positivity will in turn bring positiveness to your life.
i don't know if i buy that. it kind of seems like being a little fake, or not letting people see how you truly feel, but i think i may be getting to the point where maybe people don't want to see someone who may be glum on certain days. i'm sure it's not a blast to be around somebody who isn't on their "A" game. things haven't been top notch yet either, so trying something new may be fun.
so...
i have been working at my job now for the past four months and it's been great! i have had a wonderful time struggling to learn this new job. every day that i go into work, i learn an exciting new challenging task while still doing things that i have been learning from previous days. my new job has taught me to even further develop my multi-tasking capabilities because i am given tasks by people who come up to my desk, by people that call me on the phone, by people who send me e-mails and through text messages! i think it's amazing the amount of work that i can get done everyday. i can see why i don't get a lunch break. who needs it anyway?
i am planning on moving into a new apartment in september. i love moving! the process of taking all of my things and packing them up into boxes to move isn't totally awesome, but it sure is something to do on a nice day outside. i have been dealing with some interesting potential landlords. i haven't met one yet that i have been completely comfortable with, but i know that it will happen soon enough. i may even be staying at the owner of my company's second house down the street from the office. that would be nice. 100 dollars a week with everything included will really give me a nice opportunity to be independent and to be able to save up some money. i am hoping that that goes through.
let's see, what else? oh yea, i am hoping that i can go to school next month. it would be nice to take some writing classes again. i think i am supposed to be here to write and i haven't done it to the capacity that i would have liked to up to this point, but that is all changing come september. the college isn't that far from anywhere that i am potentially going to live, so that's a good thing. i haven't taken a college class in about 10 years, but i know that i will do better than i did then! that was a mess back then! haha!
i met a girl that i like! she's definitely a breath of fresh air and although nothing is going on between us right now, i still am holding out hope for the future. she even knows it this time which is a plus and still seems to want to talk to me. i meet up with her and her friends a lot to play pool and hang out. it's been nice to actually hang out with people near my age group too. laughing has been great and i look forward to laughing more.
florida sure has been a challenge so far, but i feel that the next month could be a real page turner. i am ready to take another step forward on my sidewalk. hopefully, if i just do the right things and have the right outlook, i will be rewarded with all the right outcomes.
if not, my birthday is on the 15th of september. address to come...
the last panel shows the boy and tiger in the exact same spot, staring at their feet in total darkness.
i'm in the middle of my sidewalk and i have taken a moment to stop and tell you where i am at right now and the next step forward that i plan on taking. i have been told to remain positive, and that kind of reminds me of this thing that i read a couple weeks ago where the author said that even if you aren't feeling great, or things aren't going as they should, you should still act positive. they said that even putting on the facade of positivity will in turn bring positiveness to your life.
i don't know if i buy that. it kind of seems like being a little fake, or not letting people see how you truly feel, but i think i may be getting to the point where maybe people don't want to see someone who may be glum on certain days. i'm sure it's not a blast to be around somebody who isn't on their "A" game. things haven't been top notch yet either, so trying something new may be fun.
so...
i have been working at my job now for the past four months and it's been great! i have had a wonderful time struggling to learn this new job. every day that i go into work, i learn an exciting new challenging task while still doing things that i have been learning from previous days. my new job has taught me to even further develop my multi-tasking capabilities because i am given tasks by people who come up to my desk, by people that call me on the phone, by people who send me e-mails and through text messages! i think it's amazing the amount of work that i can get done everyday. i can see why i don't get a lunch break. who needs it anyway?
i am planning on moving into a new apartment in september. i love moving! the process of taking all of my things and packing them up into boxes to move isn't totally awesome, but it sure is something to do on a nice day outside. i have been dealing with some interesting potential landlords. i haven't met one yet that i have been completely comfortable with, but i know that it will happen soon enough. i may even be staying at the owner of my company's second house down the street from the office. that would be nice. 100 dollars a week with everything included will really give me a nice opportunity to be independent and to be able to save up some money. i am hoping that that goes through.
let's see, what else? oh yea, i am hoping that i can go to school next month. it would be nice to take some writing classes again. i think i am supposed to be here to write and i haven't done it to the capacity that i would have liked to up to this point, but that is all changing come september. the college isn't that far from anywhere that i am potentially going to live, so that's a good thing. i haven't taken a college class in about 10 years, but i know that i will do better than i did then! that was a mess back then! haha!
i met a girl that i like! she's definitely a breath of fresh air and although nothing is going on between us right now, i still am holding out hope for the future. she even knows it this time which is a plus and still seems to want to talk to me. i meet up with her and her friends a lot to play pool and hang out. it's been nice to actually hang out with people near my age group too. laughing has been great and i look forward to laughing more.
florida sure has been a challenge so far, but i feel that the next month could be a real page turner. i am ready to take another step forward on my sidewalk. hopefully, if i just do the right things and have the right outlook, i will be rewarded with all the right outcomes.
if not, my birthday is on the 15th of september. address to come...
Monday, August 2, 2010
a story about a tree
the seed was put into the ground one day years ago and everyone waited for it to come out of the soil and reach for the sun. some days while they waited, it rained and other days it was sunny, but they all gathered around the plot of ground that would give new life to the earth. it would have growing pains, and it would have good times. it would bask in the rays of the sunrise, and it would sleep during the moonlit nights.
and the sprout grew out and said hello to the world. the crowd of people gathered around it and praised this new thing that had appeared before them. some held each other close, while others danced around it. all of the people that had waited for it were smiling and grateful that the little guy was okay.
you could tell from the early days that this tree had the potential to be one of the great ones. it dug it's roots deep and made it's branches grow with the power of a tree 3 times it's age. it all seemed so easy to the sapling, and the people who gathered around nodded with approval and praise.
during it's young life, the tree was hit by hard times when some that were around him became enraged with others that this plant had taken up so much time from the ones that they wanted to be with. they shunned him ultimately. they tried to discourage the growth by snapping at it's twigs and kicking away the dirt from it's base. the tree still tried to grow up properly, but it had started to become hardened by the meanness of others.
he couldn't run away from it either. it would get worse as he grew, and the tree was showing signs of the abuse that had come his way. he developed a disease on his trunk and it stunted his growth. the few that were left that hadn't abandoned this once promising tree tried with all their might to patch the wounds that had afflicted it, but they couldn't do enough. the tree looked down at those that were there for him and appreciated all the help, but things were just going to be more difficult from this point forward.
he wasn't going to be the giant, blossoming plant that people expected. he might not even end up being like the others that had grown past him in recent years. his roots were strong though and he knew that things could be alright if he could just fix himself and grow again.
sometimes, a few people come around to the tree and point at it and put fertilizer down at it's base and tell each other about how great this tree could have been. they pat down the soil and rub it's bark and wonder what could have been. he hears all of that and appreciates the thoughts, but knows that those are words of failure.
the tree stands still, but that gives it time to observe everything. it sees a lot of the people that were once here, are not now. he wants to prove them wrong. he wants to be accepted as a great thing again. the sun shines down on it still and the rain gives life to it's soul. this tree will be great again.
this tree is not done yet.
and the sprout grew out and said hello to the world. the crowd of people gathered around it and praised this new thing that had appeared before them. some held each other close, while others danced around it. all of the people that had waited for it were smiling and grateful that the little guy was okay.
you could tell from the early days that this tree had the potential to be one of the great ones. it dug it's roots deep and made it's branches grow with the power of a tree 3 times it's age. it all seemed so easy to the sapling, and the people who gathered around nodded with approval and praise.
during it's young life, the tree was hit by hard times when some that were around him became enraged with others that this plant had taken up so much time from the ones that they wanted to be with. they shunned him ultimately. they tried to discourage the growth by snapping at it's twigs and kicking away the dirt from it's base. the tree still tried to grow up properly, but it had started to become hardened by the meanness of others.
he couldn't run away from it either. it would get worse as he grew, and the tree was showing signs of the abuse that had come his way. he developed a disease on his trunk and it stunted his growth. the few that were left that hadn't abandoned this once promising tree tried with all their might to patch the wounds that had afflicted it, but they couldn't do enough. the tree looked down at those that were there for him and appreciated all the help, but things were just going to be more difficult from this point forward.
he wasn't going to be the giant, blossoming plant that people expected. he might not even end up being like the others that had grown past him in recent years. his roots were strong though and he knew that things could be alright if he could just fix himself and grow again.
sometimes, a few people come around to the tree and point at it and put fertilizer down at it's base and tell each other about how great this tree could have been. they pat down the soil and rub it's bark and wonder what could have been. he hears all of that and appreciates the thoughts, but knows that those are words of failure.
the tree stands still, but that gives it time to observe everything. it sees a lot of the people that were once here, are not now. he wants to prove them wrong. he wants to be accepted as a great thing again. the sun shines down on it still and the rain gives life to it's soul. this tree will be great again.
this tree is not done yet.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Day That Was
"I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
- Invictus by William Ernest Henley
The daily grind of the everyday hustle and bustle, or even the dreadfully dull, can become redundant and tiresome. From a bird's eye view, we must appear to be ants among smaller ants. We run this way and that. We go to work and we come home from work. We eat at the same places for lunch. We all answer our phones at work the same way and we all try to do the jobs we are given in the hopes that we make our money to enjoy the weekends or the free time that we do have.
Through all of the hard work and living the lives we lead, we are given our breaks from stress. We are given time to leave it all behind. It can be spent with family and friends. It can be alone on a porch with a cold beer and the sounds of summer. It can reward you with clarity and direction. It can be a time for you to just breathe. It is the dessert of life.
And sometimes, it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
While mulling through some paperwork and dealing with the telephone this morning at work, I navigated my way to the United States versus Algeria soccer match at the World Cup. The anticipation for this match had strangled me right up until the opening kick and I was not to miss the event. I had the match on with no speaker volume in a little window on the corner of my computer and tried to check in every now and then.
The U.S. needed victory bad for many reasons. They needed to score one more goal than the desert foxes from Algeria to ensure a birth in the 16 team tournament that awaited the victor. A loss here would send the Americans packing up their bags to head home to a plethora of media badgering and ignorant folks who would just dog soccer again. A loss would have ended any real shot at the growth of soccer for a very long time.
As the game drew close to the finish, the score was still tied at 0-0 and I could feel myself deflate as a tie would do us no good. When an assistant referee posted four minutes of extra time, I could already hear the sports talk old-timers pointing their fingers and calling soccer a non-issue.
Then, in a blink of an eye, Landon Donovan caught a rebounded shot off goal and slammed home a goal that shattered the new century with the alarm of a new era. By this time, I had stopped all work, jumped out of my seat and cheered. My twitter feed erupted in a fury of nationalism that I had not seen in a very long time. The United States went on to win the game 1-0 and secured themselves in the tournament, playing Saturday against Ghana.
The whipped cream can go on top, thanks.
After the rest of the day at work and after watching Invictus, I put on the Phillies game against the Indians with the Phillies down a run. Chase Utley had just protected the one run deficit with a great double play in the top of the 9th as the Phils came up to bat. With Valdez on second base, Jimmy Rollins stepped to the plate. Hitless since coming back from an injury that had sidelined him most of the year he took the count to 1-1 as Kerry Wood drew in and delivered a meatball that Rollins delivered to the right field seats. That's right, the Phillies won in dramatic, walk-off fashion 7-6.
Days like this keep people going. Today is an amazing example of living life to enjoy life. It was a reason to deal with all the peripheral things that really don't matter in the end. Sport is an amazing thing that wraps your soul in intrigue and wonder. Some days are just better than others. Some days you just have to stand and applaud even if you are the only one in the room. Some days, sport applauds your efforts.
I think I'll have two cherries on top, please.
I am the captain of my soul."
- Invictus by William Ernest Henley
The daily grind of the everyday hustle and bustle, or even the dreadfully dull, can become redundant and tiresome. From a bird's eye view, we must appear to be ants among smaller ants. We run this way and that. We go to work and we come home from work. We eat at the same places for lunch. We all answer our phones at work the same way and we all try to do the jobs we are given in the hopes that we make our money to enjoy the weekends or the free time that we do have.
Through all of the hard work and living the lives we lead, we are given our breaks from stress. We are given time to leave it all behind. It can be spent with family and friends. It can be alone on a porch with a cold beer and the sounds of summer. It can reward you with clarity and direction. It can be a time for you to just breathe. It is the dessert of life.
And sometimes, it comes with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
While mulling through some paperwork and dealing with the telephone this morning at work, I navigated my way to the United States versus Algeria soccer match at the World Cup. The anticipation for this match had strangled me right up until the opening kick and I was not to miss the event. I had the match on with no speaker volume in a little window on the corner of my computer and tried to check in every now and then.
The U.S. needed victory bad for many reasons. They needed to score one more goal than the desert foxes from Algeria to ensure a birth in the 16 team tournament that awaited the victor. A loss here would send the Americans packing up their bags to head home to a plethora of media badgering and ignorant folks who would just dog soccer again. A loss would have ended any real shot at the growth of soccer for a very long time.
As the game drew close to the finish, the score was still tied at 0-0 and I could feel myself deflate as a tie would do us no good. When an assistant referee posted four minutes of extra time, I could already hear the sports talk old-timers pointing their fingers and calling soccer a non-issue.
Then, in a blink of an eye, Landon Donovan caught a rebounded shot off goal and slammed home a goal that shattered the new century with the alarm of a new era. By this time, I had stopped all work, jumped out of my seat and cheered. My twitter feed erupted in a fury of nationalism that I had not seen in a very long time. The United States went on to win the game 1-0 and secured themselves in the tournament, playing Saturday against Ghana.
The whipped cream can go on top, thanks.
After the rest of the day at work and after watching Invictus, I put on the Phillies game against the Indians with the Phillies down a run. Chase Utley had just protected the one run deficit with a great double play in the top of the 9th as the Phils came up to bat. With Valdez on second base, Jimmy Rollins stepped to the plate. Hitless since coming back from an injury that had sidelined him most of the year he took the count to 1-1 as Kerry Wood drew in and delivered a meatball that Rollins delivered to the right field seats. That's right, the Phillies won in dramatic, walk-off fashion 7-6.
Days like this keep people going. Today is an amazing example of living life to enjoy life. It was a reason to deal with all the peripheral things that really don't matter in the end. Sport is an amazing thing that wraps your soul in intrigue and wonder. Some days are just better than others. Some days you just have to stand and applaud even if you are the only one in the room. Some days, sport applauds your efforts.
I think I'll have two cherries on top, please.
Monday, March 29, 2010
my day at the doctor's office
so, i woke up today a little earlier than usual. i was up and at em at about 8 o'clock to get to my first real physical in over a decade at the doctor's office. to be honest, i really hate doctors or hospitals. i am not really sure why, maybe it is the old people. i left the house at about 8:40 and got to my appointment on time.
i was shuffled into the examination room and was told to sit down. i was given a blood pressure test and i was like 116/90. the 90 part was kind of high, but she said it was because i hadn't had a chance to rest. she checked my pulse, but didn't tell me what that was, so i assume i wasn't dead. then, she asked me some general questions about things and told me to take off all my clothes except my undershorts. undershorts? um, ok...
right around then, i thought it was funny that i wore boxer shorts today because it'd be hilarious to think as a doctor just wandering into a room with a fully nude man sitting on a communal chair with both socks on and wearing a watch. i sat there in my seat though, in my boxers, and awaited the doc.
she walked in and greeted me. she was nice and made me feel comfortable. i told her about how i had lost 20 pounds recently and she told me to keep it up and my blood pressure should get even better. now, if any of you really no me, you will know that i get freaking amazingly dry skin. especially where a unibrow would be and the sides of my nostrils. well, i haven't been to a doctor and told her about it. she said it was psoriasis. okay, that's not life threatening. i can deal with that. i even had a cream at home that i never thought to use on it because i thought it was eczema, but i didn't mention that at the time.
also, some of you may have seen this before or not with me, but i have had this problem with my hands and fingers for a long time. they shake upon movement. it is really annoying. i have been doing it since i was like 13. i remember back in the day, not being able to eat a real watery kind of soup because i would sometimes lose the contents on the spoon on the way to my mouth! even to this day, i sometimes have issues with placing small things or moving things. about a month ago, i took some change and put it in a pile between my pointer finger and thumb and when i went to give it to a cashier in a drive-thru, all the change started to shake in my fingers and then they splurged out onto the pavement between my car and window. so embarrassing.
i told the doctor about it and she performed this test on me where she held her finger out in front of me and told me to point my finger to my nose and then back to her finger with both hands. i was soooo off! shaking my way to the destination. it was ridiculous. she was like, "wow!" i don't think you want to hear your doctor say that.
after that, we got to the grand finale of male physicals: the hernia test. she told me to put my butt against the end of the exam table and stand up. she told me to drop trow. i did. then, she starts explaining to me all the things that she is going to check for and why and what she will be looking for. yo doc, i'm already naked! check my junk and let's get out of here. you can tell me procedure when we are done. damn. anyway, i'm all good down there too.
i kind of thought about what i would do if i was a doctor and had to look at male genitalia from time to time during these exams. i think it would be funny to bust out one of those back scratchers with the hand at the end to perform the test. also, if you had to give a rectal exam, i think i would get some laughs if i put on a coal miner's helmet first and turn on the light.
so after i put on my clothes, she came back in and sat down and told me the outcome of her exam. she stated that she was giving me a steroid cream for my dry skin. she warned me not to use it on my face though for a long time because it could develop spider veins. that'd be weird. i think i am gonna try my other cream first, or maybe i can use steroids and hit many homeruns in professional baseball!
then, she told me that she wanted me to see a specialist about my shaking. a neurologist to be more specific. she said that since it only has gotten a little worse over the last 17 years, she didn't think that i had...wait for it...a brain tumor or parkinson's, but she wanted to do a test to make sure! WTF?! she said that she thought it was what is called a familial tremor or something, but it was odd because you don't develop that so early in life. crazy. i'm not gonna get all worked up about it until i hear what it really is, but that's crazy.
so that was my trip to the doctor. i got a referral to see a brain doctor, some steroids, and my junk is fine.
talk to you soon.
i was shuffled into the examination room and was told to sit down. i was given a blood pressure test and i was like 116/90. the 90 part was kind of high, but she said it was because i hadn't had a chance to rest. she checked my pulse, but didn't tell me what that was, so i assume i wasn't dead. then, she asked me some general questions about things and told me to take off all my clothes except my undershorts. undershorts? um, ok...
right around then, i thought it was funny that i wore boxer shorts today because it'd be hilarious to think as a doctor just wandering into a room with a fully nude man sitting on a communal chair with both socks on and wearing a watch. i sat there in my seat though, in my boxers, and awaited the doc.
she walked in and greeted me. she was nice and made me feel comfortable. i told her about how i had lost 20 pounds recently and she told me to keep it up and my blood pressure should get even better. now, if any of you really no me, you will know that i get freaking amazingly dry skin. especially where a unibrow would be and the sides of my nostrils. well, i haven't been to a doctor and told her about it. she said it was psoriasis. okay, that's not life threatening. i can deal with that. i even had a cream at home that i never thought to use on it because i thought it was eczema, but i didn't mention that at the time.
also, some of you may have seen this before or not with me, but i have had this problem with my hands and fingers for a long time. they shake upon movement. it is really annoying. i have been doing it since i was like 13. i remember back in the day, not being able to eat a real watery kind of soup because i would sometimes lose the contents on the spoon on the way to my mouth! even to this day, i sometimes have issues with placing small things or moving things. about a month ago, i took some change and put it in a pile between my pointer finger and thumb and when i went to give it to a cashier in a drive-thru, all the change started to shake in my fingers and then they splurged out onto the pavement between my car and window. so embarrassing.
i told the doctor about it and she performed this test on me where she held her finger out in front of me and told me to point my finger to my nose and then back to her finger with both hands. i was soooo off! shaking my way to the destination. it was ridiculous. she was like, "wow!" i don't think you want to hear your doctor say that.
after that, we got to the grand finale of male physicals: the hernia test. she told me to put my butt against the end of the exam table and stand up. she told me to drop trow. i did. then, she starts explaining to me all the things that she is going to check for and why and what she will be looking for. yo doc, i'm already naked! check my junk and let's get out of here. you can tell me procedure when we are done. damn. anyway, i'm all good down there too.
i kind of thought about what i would do if i was a doctor and had to look at male genitalia from time to time during these exams. i think it would be funny to bust out one of those back scratchers with the hand at the end to perform the test. also, if you had to give a rectal exam, i think i would get some laughs if i put on a coal miner's helmet first and turn on the light.
so after i put on my clothes, she came back in and sat down and told me the outcome of her exam. she stated that she was giving me a steroid cream for my dry skin. she warned me not to use it on my face though for a long time because it could develop spider veins. that'd be weird. i think i am gonna try my other cream first, or maybe i can use steroids and hit many homeruns in professional baseball!
then, she told me that she wanted me to see a specialist about my shaking. a neurologist to be more specific. she said that since it only has gotten a little worse over the last 17 years, she didn't think that i had...wait for it...a brain tumor or parkinson's, but she wanted to do a test to make sure! WTF?! she said that she thought it was what is called a familial tremor or something, but it was odd because you don't develop that so early in life. crazy. i'm not gonna get all worked up about it until i hear what it really is, but that's crazy.
so that was my trip to the doctor. i got a referral to see a brain doctor, some steroids, and my junk is fine.
talk to you soon.
Monday, February 15, 2010
A tale of two skippers
Welcome, my friends, to year six. The train is set to depart in a couple days on another long season of comfort sounds. The balls are set to smack the back of a catcher's mitt and the sounds that crackle off the barrel of a wooden stick careening a baseball 350ft away into the roar of a crowd are soon at hand. Yes, my friends, it is year six that our train is set to depart and at the helm of the engine is our skipper, Charlie Manuel.
Expectations are high this year, but so has every year that Charlie has taken the reigns of the club. He comes into the season with a newly acquired pitching phenom that will surely bolster his rotation and he has reloaded the usual cast of offensive bullets in an attempt to shoot down the rivals of the division as he has in years past.
The ride hasn't been as smooth as one might remember it being though.
When Charlie took over after the 2004 season, he took the place of the recently let go Larry Bowa. Bowa was a charismatic leader of a team that wore his heart on his sleeve. You always new what you were feeling out of Bowa. He was never afraid to show his true feelings towards the umpires, the media, and even his own players. Bowa was a favorite among fans. He helped bring the Phillies back to the winning ways of the early 1980's by teaching a game of all out hustle and grit. The Phillies had a many losing seasons before Bowa grabbed the helm of the club and quickly brought the team to the bright side of baseball compiling 3 seasons out of 4 of winning baseball and even won a manager of the year award.
He lost his team though and couldn't quite get over the hump of making a deep run into the playoffs. He was fired, and I must say, I was not to pleased at the time.
Fans and the media did not take long to notice the difference between Bowa and Manuel. He tended to not speak out against his players and he didn't really offer up much of a reply for decisions made during games. He didn't seem to be quite comfortable sitting in at press conferences answering the questions and having the spotlight solely on him and the media ate it up. Teasing him about his mumbling answers and down home approach to the professional nature of the game, Howard Eskin and others started to mention him as Uncle Charlie. They would berate him in the newspapers and on the radio constantly, second guessing every call. I have to admit, I was among them with my friends. We would almost use our Foghorn Leghorn voice as Manuel's.
You know what seemed to happen though? He won. Charlie Manuel has never finished a season with less than 85 wins. He has gotten over 90 wins twice in five years. He has been voted by fans as the best manager in baseball on one occasion. He has the absolute backing of his players. He even has won over this writer.
A new season is upon us and I sat back today and wondered what would have happened if Larry Bowa had remained the coach of The Philadelphia Phillies all this time. You know what, I'm not sure. What I do know is that what has happened has happened. Results are results. We have our ring. We came damn close last year. Sometimes I think that coaching is overrated in sports and that if you have the talent, anybody can win sometimes.
Manuel reminded me though back in 2007 that he cared deeply for his team and his players when he finally confronted Mr. Eskin during a press conference. Eskin was really egging Charlie on about why he didn't get in his players' faces and pressed their buttons and try and motivate the players through pressure tactics. What Charlie did instead was defend himself and his team at the same time by telling Howard that he would gladly talk to him about it in his office anytime and actually had to be pulled out of the room.
That showed me what we had as a skipper. Fire. Determination. Passion. Leadership. I didn't realize it before then and I really believe the team has been a different one since that day.
Charlie Manuel is the coach of our Phillies. As fans we have trusted in him and he has given us all that we could have asked for. I am ready to ride the train again.
Welcome to year six. All aboard.
Expectations are high this year, but so has every year that Charlie has taken the reigns of the club. He comes into the season with a newly acquired pitching phenom that will surely bolster his rotation and he has reloaded the usual cast of offensive bullets in an attempt to shoot down the rivals of the division as he has in years past.
The ride hasn't been as smooth as one might remember it being though.
When Charlie took over after the 2004 season, he took the place of the recently let go Larry Bowa. Bowa was a charismatic leader of a team that wore his heart on his sleeve. You always new what you were feeling out of Bowa. He was never afraid to show his true feelings towards the umpires, the media, and even his own players. Bowa was a favorite among fans. He helped bring the Phillies back to the winning ways of the early 1980's by teaching a game of all out hustle and grit. The Phillies had a many losing seasons before Bowa grabbed the helm of the club and quickly brought the team to the bright side of baseball compiling 3 seasons out of 4 of winning baseball and even won a manager of the year award.
He lost his team though and couldn't quite get over the hump of making a deep run into the playoffs. He was fired, and I must say, I was not to pleased at the time.
Fans and the media did not take long to notice the difference between Bowa and Manuel. He tended to not speak out against his players and he didn't really offer up much of a reply for decisions made during games. He didn't seem to be quite comfortable sitting in at press conferences answering the questions and having the spotlight solely on him and the media ate it up. Teasing him about his mumbling answers and down home approach to the professional nature of the game, Howard Eskin and others started to mention him as Uncle Charlie. They would berate him in the newspapers and on the radio constantly, second guessing every call. I have to admit, I was among them with my friends. We would almost use our Foghorn Leghorn voice as Manuel's.
You know what seemed to happen though? He won. Charlie Manuel has never finished a season with less than 85 wins. He has gotten over 90 wins twice in five years. He has been voted by fans as the best manager in baseball on one occasion. He has the absolute backing of his players. He even has won over this writer.
A new season is upon us and I sat back today and wondered what would have happened if Larry Bowa had remained the coach of The Philadelphia Phillies all this time. You know what, I'm not sure. What I do know is that what has happened has happened. Results are results. We have our ring. We came damn close last year. Sometimes I think that coaching is overrated in sports and that if you have the talent, anybody can win sometimes.
Manuel reminded me though back in 2007 that he cared deeply for his team and his players when he finally confronted Mr. Eskin during a press conference. Eskin was really egging Charlie on about why he didn't get in his players' faces and pressed their buttons and try and motivate the players through pressure tactics. What Charlie did instead was defend himself and his team at the same time by telling Howard that he would gladly talk to him about it in his office anytime and actually had to be pulled out of the room.
That showed me what we had as a skipper. Fire. Determination. Passion. Leadership. I didn't realize it before then and I really believe the team has been a different one since that day.
Charlie Manuel is the coach of our Phillies. As fans we have trusted in him and he has given us all that we could have asked for. I am ready to ride the train again.
Welcome to year six. All aboard.
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