in a tiny town, in a big state, there sat some land in a faraway place. it was a little off the beaten path, but not to far from the cars that buzz by the highway a mile or so away. on this plot of land, sat a place of commerce. it was a building that stood like an old blues man sitting on a stool. a little slanted to one side, but still kept living strong. the land sported patches of grass, but mostly dirt, which whipped up into little vortexes everyone now and then when the spirits moved through.
behind the building was a cemetery of sorts. it was filled with cars and trucks. this was a junkyard. this is where cars were brought to die. this is where they were brought when everyone had given up on them. they sat there in the back of the yard. they sat there and waited for their guts to be removed one by one until there was nothing left but just a shell of what they used to be. they sat there dented and damaged from the past. they sat there and remembered what it had been like long ago.
one car in particular yearned for the way it was. he remembered when he sat in the showroom brand new, ready to take on the rigors of life. he harked on the moment that he saw his first owners come in and take him out of the dealership, no longer alone, but with his new family. he took them wherever they wanted to go. they went on trips out of state and he brought them to work everyday. he was always there for them and they appreciated him and took care of him in return. he welcomed the addition to their family and gladly took care of it as best he could. after a few years though, that family grew apart from each other and the wife went away with the child. the husband could no longer enjoy him like he had before as it reminded him of the past and so one day he brought the car to a used car dealership and just traded him away for another car. it was over and he was back where he started, waiting for someone new to come along. waiting to make someone happy again.
and that time came after a month or two. the owner came in and said they just needed something to get around in. the car knew that he was no longer new, but knew that he could make this man happy. they drove off together and he was neglected from the very start. the man paid no attention to him. he talked all the time on his phone and slammed on the accelerator and the brakes all the time. the man would not change his oil on time and he got into fender benders here and there and wouldn't fix the car. the vehicle wished for the past, but knew that the past was just a memory. the future was the only thing left.
one day, in a blink of an eye, an older woman came by the house where the car was parked and she drove away with the car, who was now 11 years old. his insides knocked and he needed new tires and the woman did all she could to rejuvenate the car, but it was no use. the car tried all it could to get her to where she wanted to go, and understood her attempts at saving him, but she didn't have the money for the parts that he needed. one day, as he was taking her to work, he broke down on the side of the highway and she got out and walked away from him. later, he was picked up by a tow truck and was taken to where he sits today.
the grass was growing up around his tires and the rain was just collecting on his roof. the car looked around at the carcasses that sat scattered around him and he wept inside for another shot. another chance. he could make someone happy again. he just needed to be cared for in return. he could be what he used to be if he was believed in by someone, anyone. so far, nothing of his had been parted out for sale and he just hoped that someone would need him.
and one day it happened. a kid came into the backyard and saw him. he remembered the cars from when they came out with this body style years ago and appreciated it and wanted it. he just wanted to see if the engine would still turn over. if he could drive it the short distance to his home, so that he could fix him up, he would keep him. the car was nervous. he wanted nothing more than to start just one more time so that he could leave this place he was brought to die to. the kid sat in the driver seat and took the keys from the worker and put it in the ignition.
he turned the key and the car tried to breathe again, like before. it chugged and chugged and tried with all his might to turn over just one more time and get out of that place. just one more time, it thought. you can do it...you can do this. believe you can. and he clenched and shimmied and turned over his engine into an engulfing roar of victory! he did it! he was ready to go with the kid who had a delightful grin on his face.
of course the ride back home was a grueling one with aches and pains of the past, but the car focused on the future. he was ready to be fixed up and helped along by the ones that loved him. he was ready to make a difference to someone again. he was ready to be meaningful again...
and he was so grateful.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
sorry isn't a big enough word
i need to say i'm sorry, but i keep looking for the words that you will hear from me that could make a difference. i know i messed up miserably and if i can just get one more chance from you, i would make a difference in it all. i know that you don't want to hear from me right now. i know that i am not what people say you need at all in your life.
all i wish for is just one chance to show you and to show them all the truth. i have lied to you about this and that. i have lied and done things behind your back. i just want for you to see that that isn't me. i am sorry that i hurt you so bad. i am sorry that you never even want to turn back and see my face again. i know that what i did was wrong, over and over again i said things that just weren't true. i know that if i got just one more shot, just one more chance, i can make you happy and make you laugh. from the time that i get up until the sky goes black, i think of how i can get you back. i don't think that the chances exist, but i have to hold on to the possibility it can.
when we weren't hanging out i did something i regret. i just didn't want you to know that it went down the way it did. i just want to take this moment to say how sorry i am. the decision to not tell you right away has driven you so far away from me and i don't know what to do, but i wish that we could talk for a minute or two. i am just wishing for that shot.
sitting in the bar just the other day, i gave you my things so that i'd be okay. you helped me out with a hug and said it'd be okay. knowing right now that i will never see your face again, or hear your laugh, it destroys my soul in ways that can't be imagined. i know what i did was wrong, but i can't go back and change the past. all that i can do is prove to you that i am not that man. i am not that man i swear. my days and nights since that friday night have been filled with meetings and your glowing face and i just don't know what to do anymore because i don't have your soul to bounce things off of my mind. i wish that i could turn back time. i wish for one last chance to show you what i am inside.
i am not this cloud of deception and lies. i may not show it all the time, but i can make you happy in your life. i just need to do the things that will make me grow. i need to make sure that i do things right. if my word is my bond, i have made a joke of my life. i just want to tell the world what's in my heart. i am a liar and a thief of the heart. i know i hurt you really bad and i am sorry.
i don't want to ever hurt you again. if we never talk again i understand, but i just wish for one more chance to prove to you that i can beat this thing in my life that tries to control me in my mind. i have found god again and he is going to lead me to the light. i just wish that you can find it deep inside to let me in your life. the regret that i have has filled me up and the blame that i have is on fire inside. it is so hard not to hear anything you say, i wish all of the past went away. i wish that you could see me from this point on and know that i'm a good man, but right now i'm not and i can't go back and it hurts me, but that is life.
i understand if you never give me another hello. i just hope that this isn't goodbye.
i am so sorry. please give me another shot.
all i wish for is just one chance to show you and to show them all the truth. i have lied to you about this and that. i have lied and done things behind your back. i just want for you to see that that isn't me. i am sorry that i hurt you so bad. i am sorry that you never even want to turn back and see my face again. i know that what i did was wrong, over and over again i said things that just weren't true. i know that if i got just one more shot, just one more chance, i can make you happy and make you laugh. from the time that i get up until the sky goes black, i think of how i can get you back. i don't think that the chances exist, but i have to hold on to the possibility it can.
when we weren't hanging out i did something i regret. i just didn't want you to know that it went down the way it did. i just want to take this moment to say how sorry i am. the decision to not tell you right away has driven you so far away from me and i don't know what to do, but i wish that we could talk for a minute or two. i am just wishing for that shot.
sitting in the bar just the other day, i gave you my things so that i'd be okay. you helped me out with a hug and said it'd be okay. knowing right now that i will never see your face again, or hear your laugh, it destroys my soul in ways that can't be imagined. i know what i did was wrong, but i can't go back and change the past. all that i can do is prove to you that i am not that man. i am not that man i swear. my days and nights since that friday night have been filled with meetings and your glowing face and i just don't know what to do anymore because i don't have your soul to bounce things off of my mind. i wish that i could turn back time. i wish for one last chance to show you what i am inside.
i am not this cloud of deception and lies. i may not show it all the time, but i can make you happy in your life. i just need to do the things that will make me grow. i need to make sure that i do things right. if my word is my bond, i have made a joke of my life. i just want to tell the world what's in my heart. i am a liar and a thief of the heart. i know i hurt you really bad and i am sorry.
i don't want to ever hurt you again. if we never talk again i understand, but i just wish for one more chance to prove to you that i can beat this thing in my life that tries to control me in my mind. i have found god again and he is going to lead me to the light. i just wish that you can find it deep inside to let me in your life. the regret that i have has filled me up and the blame that i have is on fire inside. it is so hard not to hear anything you say, i wish all of the past went away. i wish that you could see me from this point on and know that i'm a good man, but right now i'm not and i can't go back and it hurts me, but that is life.
i understand if you never give me another hello. i just hope that this isn't goodbye.
i am so sorry. please give me another shot.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
no, no...after you.
he put on his pajamas and grabbed his alarm clock from the nightstand, setting it to his usual time. climbing into bed, he prayed that tomorrow would be better and then he shut his eyes and fell asleep.
he awoke to the blare of a ac/dc tune and he jumped out of bed with a great smile on his face. he went into the bathroom and did all the usual bathroom morning things, ate breakfast and walked out the door. he skipped down the stairs of his apartment complex and got to the front door. he noticed an older gentleman who was coming inside from the snow and he decided to do his first good deed of the day and hold open the door for this gingerly fellow. the old man didn't look up, or even say a word, as he slid by the open door and went on his way toward his home.
he made his own way outside and toward his car in the parking lot on the side of the building. he climbed in and turned on the defroster and waited for the ice to melt on his windshield a little bit before he could scrape off the ice. next to him, he noticed a woman who was trying to use her credit card to deice her car, so he walked over and tried to give her a hand. she told him to please back away from the car, and that everything was fine. he turned around, got back to his car, scraped away the night air, and got in his car to go to work.
driving along the freeway, the traffic was pretty heavy. he didn't have very many miles to drive on it, so he stuck himself in the right lane and went on his way, listening to guster on the radio. while tapping his fingers to the beat of the bongo player, he noticed that his exit was coming up, but traffic was thick for the other drivers who needed to get over. he noticed a blue sedan to his left with the blinker on, and so he slowed down to let the person make their exit. as the blue car driver made his way into the lane, he noticed that he had his hand up and his middle finger extended back towards him.
he sat down at his desk a few minutes early, and noticed that nobody had made coffee yet. not being a coffee drinker himself, he got up and walked over to the station and decided to give it a whirl and let other people have coffee right away as they came in from the cold. after the pot was done brewing, people started to shuffle in from outside and grabbing cups to fill with the morning brew. they didn't ask how it got there, or who made it. a few of the people made funny faces after taking a sip and throwing the cups away, complaining about the taste. some of them just took the coffee and walked away, going about their day as if the shit magically made itself.
after work, he got in his car and went to the supermarket. he noticed a homeless man outside and was asked for any spare change. he told the guy that he might be able to spare what he could after he bought something. he went inside and corralled some things in his basket and walked up to the only person working a register just as another person walked up as well. as the person ahead of them grabbed their bags and walked away, the woman next to him didn't look or say a word and proceeded to go next with the cashier. he bit his lip and allowed it.
he paid for his few items and received 37 cents change. he collected his bags and walked out the automatic exit doors to see the homeless man still waiting there with the hopes of some money. he put down his bags and dug into his pocket and gave him the 37 cents. the homeless man took the change and looked at it with disappointment and asked him for more. he told him that he couldn't do anything with 37 cents. he apologized and said that that was all he had to spare.
he went home and cooked his food. he watched tv alone. he did the dishes from dinner, took a shower, and walked into his bedroom. he put on his pajamas, set his alarm, and got into bed.
he sat in his bed with his eyes open in the dark. he shoved the sheets off of his body and got out of bed. he stammered over to his window and slid it open. he took a deep breath and yelled outside as loud as he could:
"YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME!!!"
he awoke to the blare of a ac/dc tune and he jumped out of bed with a great smile on his face. he went into the bathroom and did all the usual bathroom morning things, ate breakfast and walked out the door. he skipped down the stairs of his apartment complex and got to the front door. he noticed an older gentleman who was coming inside from the snow and he decided to do his first good deed of the day and hold open the door for this gingerly fellow. the old man didn't look up, or even say a word, as he slid by the open door and went on his way toward his home.
he made his own way outside and toward his car in the parking lot on the side of the building. he climbed in and turned on the defroster and waited for the ice to melt on his windshield a little bit before he could scrape off the ice. next to him, he noticed a woman who was trying to use her credit card to deice her car, so he walked over and tried to give her a hand. she told him to please back away from the car, and that everything was fine. he turned around, got back to his car, scraped away the night air, and got in his car to go to work.
driving along the freeway, the traffic was pretty heavy. he didn't have very many miles to drive on it, so he stuck himself in the right lane and went on his way, listening to guster on the radio. while tapping his fingers to the beat of the bongo player, he noticed that his exit was coming up, but traffic was thick for the other drivers who needed to get over. he noticed a blue sedan to his left with the blinker on, and so he slowed down to let the person make their exit. as the blue car driver made his way into the lane, he noticed that he had his hand up and his middle finger extended back towards him.
he sat down at his desk a few minutes early, and noticed that nobody had made coffee yet. not being a coffee drinker himself, he got up and walked over to the station and decided to give it a whirl and let other people have coffee right away as they came in from the cold. after the pot was done brewing, people started to shuffle in from outside and grabbing cups to fill with the morning brew. they didn't ask how it got there, or who made it. a few of the people made funny faces after taking a sip and throwing the cups away, complaining about the taste. some of them just took the coffee and walked away, going about their day as if the shit magically made itself.
after work, he got in his car and went to the supermarket. he noticed a homeless man outside and was asked for any spare change. he told the guy that he might be able to spare what he could after he bought something. he went inside and corralled some things in his basket and walked up to the only person working a register just as another person walked up as well. as the person ahead of them grabbed their bags and walked away, the woman next to him didn't look or say a word and proceeded to go next with the cashier. he bit his lip and allowed it.
he paid for his few items and received 37 cents change. he collected his bags and walked out the automatic exit doors to see the homeless man still waiting there with the hopes of some money. he put down his bags and dug into his pocket and gave him the 37 cents. the homeless man took the change and looked at it with disappointment and asked him for more. he told him that he couldn't do anything with 37 cents. he apologized and said that that was all he had to spare.
he went home and cooked his food. he watched tv alone. he did the dishes from dinner, took a shower, and walked into his bedroom. he put on his pajamas, set his alarm, and got into bed.
he sat in his bed with his eyes open in the dark. he shoved the sheets off of his body and got out of bed. he stammered over to his window and slid it open. he took a deep breath and yelled outside as loud as he could:
"YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME!!!"
Thursday, September 16, 2010
a very real update...
it's time to reflect. it's also time to give an update on my life. it's time to tell you where i am at and where i am going and what i have been doing. it's time to come clean.
i turned 31 years old yesterday. to be honest, i never really expected to live this long so far. it's true. i always thought that i would have crashed and burned in the urban oasis of boston back some years ago. like a cockroach, i survived the atomic strike on my life and came out the other end shaking the fallout from off my collar.
i stayed in new jersey for some time before coming to florida. i was a fool for coming, but i had to give it a shot. it was for a girl with eyes that pierced my heart and i wanted my soul to be near them. it wasn't to be, but i gave myself this idea that i would stay. to finish something that i started. being here for so long now, i don't know what i started. i tell people that i am going back to school. it's been three years.
right now, i am sitting in an apartment in bradenton, florida writing this to tell people that i have no idea what the hell happened. i mean, i know what took place, but it all happened so fast. one minute, i am moving into a new apartment in florida and then next minute, i am staring down the barrel of an eviction that is soon to take place because i don't have 200 dollars to my name. at 31.
this apartment is not much at all really, but it is a roof over my head. today i got into a screaming match with my landlord because she told me not to bother her with non-emergencies after 10pm. my electric went out in my apartment two nights ago and i text messaged her to ask her to hit the circuit breaker that was located in her closed garage. i didn't fall asleep in the florida heat that night until four in the morning.
i also complained to her that my dishwasher didn't work and that i didn't enjoy the two inch palmetto cockroaches that i would see climb up my wall, but that was in one ear and out the other i presume. she complained to me that i didn't have a job. i shouted back that it wasn't my plan to get a new apartment and lose my job two days after moving in. she told me that she didn't want to support me and that she specifically wanted someone that worked so that the a/c wouldn't run during the day.
it's not so much that it is a bad situation, but more that i know i am better than it. the one thing that i know is free is my breath. i will always have that. i have always thought that my words could never be taken away from me either, and they cannot, but my eyes are the only ones that have seen what i have seen and know what i have done.
when i wake up tomorrow, i am going to go to work. i'm going to help drive cars for my father. i remember when i was 17 and arrived in boston and felt the city and the potential. that was 14 years ago. i have more to give than this. maybe florida isn't the answer.
i mean do i really want to finish what i have started here?
i turned 31 years old yesterday. to be honest, i never really expected to live this long so far. it's true. i always thought that i would have crashed and burned in the urban oasis of boston back some years ago. like a cockroach, i survived the atomic strike on my life and came out the other end shaking the fallout from off my collar.
i stayed in new jersey for some time before coming to florida. i was a fool for coming, but i had to give it a shot. it was for a girl with eyes that pierced my heart and i wanted my soul to be near them. it wasn't to be, but i gave myself this idea that i would stay. to finish something that i started. being here for so long now, i don't know what i started. i tell people that i am going back to school. it's been three years.
right now, i am sitting in an apartment in bradenton, florida writing this to tell people that i have no idea what the hell happened. i mean, i know what took place, but it all happened so fast. one minute, i am moving into a new apartment in florida and then next minute, i am staring down the barrel of an eviction that is soon to take place because i don't have 200 dollars to my name. at 31.
this apartment is not much at all really, but it is a roof over my head. today i got into a screaming match with my landlord because she told me not to bother her with non-emergencies after 10pm. my electric went out in my apartment two nights ago and i text messaged her to ask her to hit the circuit breaker that was located in her closed garage. i didn't fall asleep in the florida heat that night until four in the morning.
i also complained to her that my dishwasher didn't work and that i didn't enjoy the two inch palmetto cockroaches that i would see climb up my wall, but that was in one ear and out the other i presume. she complained to me that i didn't have a job. i shouted back that it wasn't my plan to get a new apartment and lose my job two days after moving in. she told me that she didn't want to support me and that she specifically wanted someone that worked so that the a/c wouldn't run during the day.
it's not so much that it is a bad situation, but more that i know i am better than it. the one thing that i know is free is my breath. i will always have that. i have always thought that my words could never be taken away from me either, and they cannot, but my eyes are the only ones that have seen what i have seen and know what i have done.
when i wake up tomorrow, i am going to go to work. i'm going to help drive cars for my father. i remember when i was 17 and arrived in boston and felt the city and the potential. that was 14 years ago. i have more to give than this. maybe florida isn't the answer.
i mean do i really want to finish what i have started here?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
the phillies recap 08/25/2010 - a loss...again
the philadelphia phillies stepped onto the field tonight hoping to catch ground with the atlanta braves in the battle for the nl east. what ended up happening was another failed attempt at victory against a mediocre ball club with one of the best pitchers on the mound in our efforts. yes, the phillies offense had failed again as they lost 3-2.
after last nights debacle of a game, where the team only could muster two runs in 16 innings, the phillies hoped to bounce back with roy halladay on the mound against former phillie j.a. happ. it was not to be.
ryan howard was given the night off, although he did get a pinch hit single in the ninth, the team failed to drive him in from first with two outs. besides that, the lineup was intact and could not muster up any meaningful innings at the plate. this is becoming a problem.
it's not the pitching that is the issue here and maybe it's just a case of the lineup needing to settle down and play together more. the team has fielded it's projected opening day lineup only 10 times this year which is pretty amazing since they are so close to the atlanta braves in the chase for the top position.
i'm not saying that i am concerned just yet, but it is a small worry that i have when you play at home and in three games score less than ten runs against an okay squad. this right now is the phillies chance to reclaim the lead in the east with the braves getting swept by the rockies and to not take advantage of it could be a big reason when we look back later on as to why they are battling for a wild card spot and not cruising into the playoffs as division champs.
let's hope that tomorrow night brings a nice performance and we can move on from this because i can't even say that i'm angry just yet...just confused with it all. how can a team with this much firepower be so dead. i feel like when a man reaches first base, we hit a homerun. at the beginning of the year, i felt that even if we were five runs down, we would score six in the very next inning, and we usually did. now, i feel that being down one run is a dagger to the jugular.
i'm not seeing the spark. i'm not seeing the swagger. there is no confidence at the plate.
blame who you will, but a loss is a loss. the braves don't care how it's happening.
after last nights debacle of a game, where the team only could muster two runs in 16 innings, the phillies hoped to bounce back with roy halladay on the mound against former phillie j.a. happ. it was not to be.
ryan howard was given the night off, although he did get a pinch hit single in the ninth, the team failed to drive him in from first with two outs. besides that, the lineup was intact and could not muster up any meaningful innings at the plate. this is becoming a problem.
it's not the pitching that is the issue here and maybe it's just a case of the lineup needing to settle down and play together more. the team has fielded it's projected opening day lineup only 10 times this year which is pretty amazing since they are so close to the atlanta braves in the chase for the top position.
i'm not saying that i am concerned just yet, but it is a small worry that i have when you play at home and in three games score less than ten runs against an okay squad. this right now is the phillies chance to reclaim the lead in the east with the braves getting swept by the rockies and to not take advantage of it could be a big reason when we look back later on as to why they are battling for a wild card spot and not cruising into the playoffs as division champs.
let's hope that tomorrow night brings a nice performance and we can move on from this because i can't even say that i'm angry just yet...just confused with it all. how can a team with this much firepower be so dead. i feel like when a man reaches first base, we hit a homerun. at the beginning of the year, i felt that even if we were five runs down, we would score six in the very next inning, and we usually did. now, i feel that being down one run is a dagger to the jugular.
i'm not seeing the spark. i'm not seeing the swagger. there is no confidence at the plate.
blame who you will, but a loss is a loss. the braves don't care how it's happening.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
the return of the attack of the killer buicks
i can't take it anymore. you may think that it happens everywhere and i'm being dramatic. you may think that i need to just calm down. i tell you to take heed at what i proclaim in the following paragraphs and prepare yourself for the possibility that one day you will encounter driving in florida. one day you will develop the hate that i do for the elderly and oldsmobiles, or the young and their lifted four-wheeling pickup trucks.
one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.
what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.
inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.
i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.
i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.
one of the main things that needs to be known about driving here, as opposed to new jersey, is that there are no such things as jughandles. in new jersey for those that don't know, we have them. they are an exit ramp on all roads that come back around to an intersection that you go thru that you would like to go across, or to make a left turn to go back the way you came. in florida, if you want to make a left turn, you turn from the left lane.
what ends up happening is that you get no order of speed. in new jersey, and a lot of other places, if you want to drive slow, you get in the right lane. want to speed up a little because you may only be 30 minutes early to your doctor's appointment for an enlarged prostate? try the middle lane. if you really wanna push the boundaries of the speed limits and what cops may or may not pull you over for, then you my friend can observe the left lane. florida is a free for all. any lane is available for driving well below the speed limit. time after time, i see that bumbling cadillac moping down the road in the left lane preparing to make that turn in 3 miles. god forbid that you use the middle lane and change lanes when you approach the turn you need.
inevitably, this leads to the insurgence of the road rage out-of-staters, or the under 70 crowd that grows tiresome of waiting for these slugs of life to get out of the way and they all resort to weaving in and out of traffic like a game of Spy Hunter. it's either that or you tailgate the fiber out of the person's ass in front of you. all in all, driving down a normal city road in the towns of florida is either for the blind who don't know they are in the way, or it makes the normal humans conjure up the ability for one second to actually think about knocking on someone's car window, having the person roll it down, and throw newborn babies at them while screaming the most vile words imaginable.
i have seen some other crazy things to that the road ragers end up doing while most likely being pissed off. many times i have witnessed a driver weave from the far right lane and make a left turn on a three lane road. i have seen the same douchebags make a three lane bee-line for an exit on the highway and cut off about three or four elderly people that almost brake to a halt and reach for their inhalers. i also believe that every driver in the state of florida has a woody for their high beams as well. i almost always drive now with my rearview mirror tilted to the tint setting as the old folks need that extra light from god to get home.
i don't really have any fixes for this problem of driving here, but it does feel good to get some of it out. i think the bottom line is that i wish i had my own lane where i can go ten miles over the speed limit and never see the back of a buick, oldsmobile, or cadillac. the one good thing is that you don't have to worry as much about the terrible driving after 8 o'clock since they are all getting ready for bed after catching the early bird special at denny's.
Monday, August 16, 2010
a story about a house
i am a large house with many rooms and many places to sit. i have wide hallways and no carpets. i am an empty wall. white paint with bright lights. the kitchen is steel and appliances. the floor is tiled and cold. i've walked around this house for a long time.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
it's funny that for being in this house for so long, i still come across new rooms all the time. they are on different floors that i have never been on and they are at the ends of different corridors that i find myself wandering.
some of the rooms have been opened before of course and i have spent some time in each one. i leave some of the rooms that i like open, so that i can go in them again. if you talk really loud in some of them the sound just bellows off of one wall to another and reverberates throughout the house. all of the rooms have two seats in them and i try to sit in them from time to time, but just find myself talking to myself. it gets old after awhile. i just pick myself up from one seat and move into the other seat and reply.
some of the other rooms in my house i have closed again. when i close the rooms, they lock behind me and the key that i have won't work in them again, so i need to be really careful that i want to close them. some of the rooms that i closed off just remind me of things that i don't want to remember, or they have pictures on the walls that i don't like.
a couple months ago, i came across this room that i never had seen before and the door was bright with all the colors of the rainbow splattered on it. there was loud music playing from inside and i just knew that i hadn't been in it before. i turned the knob and opened it to find you standing there smiling at me.
i felt like i knew you right away as we sat down to talk. everything that you said sounded like something that i could have said. it was funny. it was insightful. and you were beautiful.
i remembered how to get to your room and would go back all the time. we'd sit as the music played and would laugh and just pass the time. i asked if you would like to come around and look at the rest of the house with me. we walked and walked all over the property. up the stairs and down the stairs. to the far reaches of the mansion. a lot of the rooms we couldn't go into for some reason because my key wouldn't work, so we just kept going forward.
we would peek our heads into the ones we could though and found some great things to do. it seemed that the most fun that i had however, was when we just sat down at the two chairs that would be in the room, whether they be soft, reclining chairs, or foldout chairs in the basement, and just talk about the world and life.
one day when we were talking, i had said something about wanting to eat, and you got up and declared that you would make sandwiches and you raced out of the room towards the kitchen. while you were away, i took a peek around just to see if i had missed anything that i hadn't seen before. i went over to your bed and took a glance at your bedside table and noticed that it had a drawer to it. it's funny, but i hadn't noticed it from all the times that we had talked and i didn't even know if she knew it was there either.
i slid open the tiny, thin drawer and smiled at the contents. a key. it was bright, shiny and new. when you came back, you saw me standing there with it and i explained that i found it when looking on your table. i told her that i thought that it may be for all the rooms that we couldn't go into before. we talked while we ate about all the possibilities that may await if we just take the chance and open them just to see what would be inside. at the same time though, it felt pretty good just living the way we were. we sat and mulled the idea for what seemed like eternity and finally she got up, looked me in the eyes, smiled and said...
"let's go exploring!"
she grabbed my hand and we left her room, running down the halls laughing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
